But there are exceptions. If someone tells you that you look like Michael Jackson, you don't have to produce a fantastic moonwalk, although it might help. And when someone tells you that you're the spitting image of your mother, you don't have to head to the 90s and pick up all the clothes she left behind in a previous life.
I, finally, got a job!
I, finally, got a job!
The hunt for it really was as treacherous and time-consuming as the word "hunt" implies. Suddenly I am that girl. And when someone asks me: 'Do you work here?' I can finally admit that 'yes, yes I do' then get over the pride and act as though I actually know what I'm talking about.
I reckon I'm naturally shy - a molehill I try to scooch over every day. And so, whilst the prospect of having a job was an exciting one, I couldn't help (for some reason) being afraid of actually having to work. Don't get me wrong: it was by no means because I was lazy and was looking for a way for easy money. I want - on either account. Simply, I suddenly had something to do.
Someone recently told me the meaning of the expression "FOMO" - Fear Of Missing Out.
It had never occurred to me that I might be the epitome of this phrase. At least not openly. I knew that there were things that I wanted to do and didn't want to have to give up though. And pre-planned freedom was one of them.
For the first few weeks of uni, I sat resolutely in my room not daring to be out past 6 if it had anything to do with uni. School finished at 3 - 3:30 at the latest - so adding an extra 2:30 learning hours to my day was a push. I wasn't used to having my quiet time sacrificed. And weekends I reserved strictly for myself.
I wasn't a social creature by any measure of the word. I seldom went out and barely engaged in an form of conversation that wasn't absolutely necessary or didnt merit my input. I was more than content to eat my lunch and state at the ceiling fixtures or something equally as interesting.
But as the months progressed through uni, I slipped out later into the night. I decided that chilling out time could include other people rather than just myself and that books would have to wait until I was alone, like on the train. Eventually, though it took a while; I was comfortable surrendering a little bit of myself to the wider world.
When I started looking through job ads at first, I half prayed that I wouldn't be successful just to keep what I knew. But when, in February, I got my first and only interview, I was happy (more than) to have something to do. And as I travel back home on this Sunday evening, I feel far from having lost anything at all. It's all gain. Everything I have myself for today was in the interest of taking advantage of opportunity. So I can keep myself and what I love and add little things every time!!
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