Last night, I took another step closer to solidity; my dad and I accepted my place in the university halls for September. Now that my accommodation has been arranged, I can finally associate my name with the campus as a member of the community.
As daunting as I think moving in will be, particularly leaving on a plane to live in another country away from my parents, I am so glad that I have a place to call mine. I suppose it's like when your parents choose you your name when you're born. It's your defining moment. That word now means something to you. For me, that confirmation has completed my defining moment as I start a new chapter. And I couldn't be happier.
When I first received the notification I couldn't stop smiling. It was the bookshop situation; trying to tell myself that 'It's alright' when I was already past being calmed down for the excitement jangling in my veins.
I couldn't open the email fast enough. It was 10pm. My fingers were shaking. I was desperate to sleep and the thud of a headache I had all day was growing stronger in protest.
"I'll just look and see what it says," I resolved, unable to pry myself away from the addiction of the anticipation.
When I found out that I had been allocated the small halls, my heart began to thump.
No. I thought. I've applied for the wrong place!
I swung the mouse to the internet bar. I typed the entire address and loaded various websites including the search results from Google images. One of the first comments that came up stated that the small halls were located 2 miles from the campus I would be studying at. I was panicking.
I don't have a car! How am I going to get there? I'll have to leave at 5am just to get to lectures on time!
(It's probably worth noting that I have absolutely no concept of distance or any sense of direction.)
Why is this happening? It was all going so well!
I took to finding consolation on Facebook. There are those moments of anxiety when you're waiting to find out something important on the internet and the page loads so slowly that you find yourself wondering;
Do I really want to know what everyone else is going to say?
I looked on the accommodation group for my allocated halls. I read the reviews. It seemed as though no one had wanted to be in those halls. They, like me, had just been sent there. But...everyone liked it.
I read, that night, tiredness subsiding, that the halls were more compact and so it was possible and more likely that you would make lasting friends. The community feel was stronger and within easy access of two of the most popular nightclubs, which I read were the main point of being a fresher. The block was also located right by the common, an environment that has now become a top priority for anywhere I stay considering the last 2 years have been spent in a grand sandpit.
The fear began to ebb away. It didn't seem to matter that none of my existing friends hadn't been offered a place to stay there. As far as I was concerned, I was extremely lucky that the university hadn't obeyed my choices. It was as though they already knew the kind of person I was and the choices I made - many of which I wouldn't even trust. Though it was completely different from what I had once wanted, I did still have an ensuite room - the object of all my pursuits and for that I was incredibly thankful.
I really couldn't have asked for more.
So, we only got round to accepting it last night, having been offered it three days ago. But no matter when these things happen, it seems that slowly, and perfectly, everything is falling into place.
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