Sweet Freedom

Ahh, freedom! Sweet, sweet freedom! So beautiful, so elusive and also, the world's biggest oxymoron. Freedom governs our every action, so much so that it becomes the very force that constrains us. We want to be free to say what we want. We want to be free to share our thoughts. And we want to ensure that we are free from the implications of our actions. (Listening to Jeremy Vine this morning in light of the Parisian terrorist attack that happened earlier this week, this sequence of thought freedom seems particularly prevalent.) But our obsession with our freedom is around us in all forms. 

Freedom to love who we want, even if they're of the same sex. Freedom to be who we want and get a job that needs us. Freedom from our families. Freedom from the government. Freedom from technology. Freedom from cancer. 

There are constantly petitions for those of us who are deemed to have freedom of speech to save those who aren't. Us, the 'free people', the people who can say what we want ... only we can't. I agree: no one should be granted to make racist comments, to make rude and damaging remarks about other people's faiths or their sexual orientation. That shouldn't happen. But as a nation and even, as a race, we are absolutely and undeniably obsessed with being free. And herein lies our problem. 

We have a massive issue with the word 'free'. People have differing views of what it means to be free in varying contexts. But if we reduce the word to its bare skeleton it means 'to be unconstrained'. So, apply this in a context of 'dignity' - well, then we should all accept that it is perfectly normal for some of us to choose to strut off to Tesco's naked. If you have a problem with it, then you're not liberal enough. Apply this in the context of 'speech' and anyone can say whatever they want. 

Our problem is not with what we want from society. But what we seek to do is lump all our thoughts into one neat word that rolls of the tongue. 

'Free' is not it. 

Perhaps, instead we should call it 'impartiality' -  a word meaning fairness and equal treatment of people, which still upholds the principle of open-mindedness. Rather than 'freedom of speech', 'impartiality of speech'. It sounds better already. 

I wanted to start this year off with a blog post that meant something. I wanted to start with something along the lines my usual kind of list obsession but I felt this way was better. So, for 2015, I invite you all to give up your supposed freedoms. Not to imprison yourself and give up being free, but to be something different. Strive to be impartial.  

Among the fashionistas!!

Despite appearances, it's been pretty hard for me to get the constant readership that I'd hoped to bring with my blog. Being a writer in a virtual world overrun with fashion bloggers doesn't come easy!

I've been through countless sites searching for ways to improve on numbers but that's not to say that numbers are everything. I absolutely love what I do and, more than anything, what I write is a way of giving all my thoughts a purpose. I don't think someone with this many thoughts should leave them bundled up in her head.

I have a box under my bed which I got as a gift before uni and inside I store all these thoughts as well as tickets from things that I've done and places that I've been. Everytime I'm angry or super super passionate about something - which happens more often - and I'm full to bursting with it, I whack out my typewriter. It's, perhaps, one of the best things I've ever put my money towards and it was £10 in a charity shop! I absolutely love it and (touch wood) so far it has cost me absolutely NOTHING to run. All the spools of tape were included and are still in working order!

So out the typewriter comes, in a piece of A4 goes and I get underway bashing out the thoughts on the tip of every pore in my body. And then, with the same methodology every time, I fold it and put it in this box.

But my thoughts are not only there. They're everywhere. On post-it notes around my room. On mind-maps above my bed. In books in my drawer. In journals. In margins at the sides of novels. Everywhere! And also, they're in every post that I write.

What aren't in my blog posts though is anything of use. Well, that is ... there's no tips on how to do your hair. How I wear my make-up and my favourite health-store buys. You won't find anything like that here (you'll know as a reader!) It's just a collection of jumbled thought.

But I was thinking ... what if I was "one among the fashionistas" so to speak? What if, this was the post where I told you all of those hair and make-up queries that I'm sure you're dying to know? Well, lucky for you ---- IT'S TIIIIIIME!!


OOTD:
Every classic fashion blog starts with this: OOTD (Outfit Of The Day - I had to work this one out for myself) or ODJ (Outfit Du Jour)

So this is probably the extent of it. This is what I wore today - a grey jumper, highwaisted black and gold shorts and grey plimsolls. Why? Because the sun was momentarily shining and I had to wear something before I started my essays this morning.

I've come to learn that every good fashionista also needs a lap dog who will follow them around and make sure the camera angle is perfect and the lighting is spot on. They have proper SLR cameras with a million buttons which do countless. For this photo I had my laptop - good ol' "You-cam".

The dress sense I have kind of happens by mistake. I'm fairly safe with what I wear and favour comfort over appearance. I could never understand girls at school who didn't wear tights, white knee high shocks or a jumper, blazer and rain mac like me!



HAIR:
Nearly every fashion blogger can tell you exactly how they do their hair in the morning. I've seen it so many times. They do tutorials. They, simply, know how to do their hair.

Ask me how I do my hair and I will tell you that I have absolutely no idea. My hair today came out near enough exactly how I wanted it a couple of days ago but I have no idea why. It changes from day to day.

Every other day I wash my hair - that never changes. But the shampoo and conditioner I use is never the same. I'm currently on some coconut shampoo from ASDA and a 40p mega bottle of conditioner from Sainsbury's that had lasted me nearly 4 months. They're not the best quality hence why I'll walk out of the shower with the same amount of knots in my hair as when I walked in.

Then to the brushing. Pretty self-explanatory. It hurts but with a leeway of about 5 minutes each time, all the knots come out.

Sometimes I grease the ends with split end seal. Sometime I don't.

Sometimes I put in curling mousse. Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I use a diffuser on my hair and sometimes just the plain old hairdryer.

And the length of time I spend drying my hair depends on whether I'm day-dreaming and enjoying being hung upside down from the waist.

My hair just happens. On it's own and I have very little control. So ask me to show you how to do your hair like mine (if you really wanted to know) and I'd reply: no, I can't.

What next? Of course ...

MAKE-UP:

I'm all for rocking what God and your mumma gave you! I hardly ever wear make-up and just use a splash on a night out - a bit of lippy and mascara - but even then I won't look at myself for too long in the mirror. It never feels like me. My lips were never meant to be that red and all night I have to remind myself not to rub my eyes because it'll smudge.

Make-up's not for me. I couldn't deal with seeing 2 versions of myself every day. 

Everyday, it's just me.

HEALTH-STORE BUYS:

I barely even know what a health-store is! I've never been, but if I had to fill this category my favourite shop, it would probably have to be ASDA. I love how cheap everything is and that even responsibly produced stuff will save you a few pennies! 24p soup all the way!

So how was that for you?

*

I'm not a fashion blogger, and with what I've written above, I have no hope if that's the path I decide to go down. 

When I was younger I had about a thousand crisis' trying to figure out who I was and what I was good at. That was only because I felt as though I had to fit a mode. That was only because what I thought the world needed was one more of what it already had in abundance. 

If I'd have 'obeyed' the laws of blogging and tried to mould myself on the success of fashion blogger's like Style By Kieren or Girl About Dubai or Zoella, I might just have fallen short of the mark. Well, let's face it - I would have. 

Often success only comes from being the person that you are. From throwing away conformity and not being downhearted when you think you're not as good as someone else because you're not achieving as much as they are. 

This is the constant struggle of my life but it's so important that I'm learning from it. I'm not a fashion blogger. I don't have a million readers. But I have me. And though all those people I mentioned just above are INCREDIBLY talented, I'm just talented in a different ways. 

Sometimes life is about starting with a small crack in the rock and chipping away until you've made yourself a home. That's all :D  

The Riddler

Every story is biased. Perspective on narrative can make you live one tale, one life, a thousand times over. Our human need and desperation to tell stories in our day to day life is impulsive.

Yes, it's day one at Uni and, despite being late to the first 9am lecture, this is what I've learned. Pretty inspiring stuff! In fact, I was very motivated by this. My lecturer for my Narrative and Cultural Identity in the Hispanic World module has linked, unknowingly, to purpose of his introductory lecture very nicely with my own slogan of this blog.

Turning old pages, reading new words (the name of my blog) has a couple of conceptual meanings. Basically, what I'm getting at is that we all live life. Fact. But how you live your life is different to how I live mine and not simply because we are living different lives with different goals. If I put myself in your life and you put yourself in mine, you still wouldn't live the my life. You would, physically, live mine, but spiritually you wouldn't. Your take on things would be completely different. Whether you met a cloudy day with apprehension and anxiety or whether you met it with thick coats and wellies would determine how differently that one day would take form. Perspective can make you live your life a thousand times over. 

History is a classic take on the modern story. I absolutely love reading and writing. History employs the same skills. Those who dictate history have formulated the way in which it was told. Take the Titanic. Would history be different if a polar bear had told that story? If human were polar bears? Because, essentially, through global warming we are killing polar bears like humans off the Titanic. Granted; it was a horrible tragedy, there's no denying it. But, would it have been as shocking, as detrimental, as spirit changing if it had been 1,500 polar bears that had drowned off a floating breeze block of ice that had melted due to climate change induced by humans? Maybe. Would we have know about it? And if we hadn't, would we still be hanging on to the old cliche of 'just the tip of the iceberg'? Every story is biased. 

dailymail.co.uk

If I told you about me in a verbal diarrhea form of biography, there would be things I wouldn't tell you because I wouldn't want you to know. There are things I would forget to tell you, because I wouldn't think that you needed you to know. And there would be things I would make better. Those would be the type of things I would want you to remember. And, whether you're willing to accept it or not, you would do the same. But whatever I did or didn't tell you, if asked, I would reel of some sort of cabaret.
"It's not that interesting but..." Storytelling is as much an impulse as those functions we can't control. 

And like that above, this whole post is an impulse. I needed to write, to share something pointless but hopefully enjoyable to tame the genuine inspiration I've been feeling today. If all my seminars are like this, bring on the next four years!