What a waste!

Free time is good and, no matter who you are, it seems to be all you ever want. Just time to do nothing. But when, as students, we're handed nearly 4 months of absolutely free time, suddenly we're itching to do something. 

And, if like me, you haven't got any Spanish au pairing trips sorted or aren't working as an activity instructor in Timbuktu or some far reaches of the globe, you're probably feeling like summer is going to be an unproductive period of over-eating and lazing about.

I know not everything is about having something to put on your CV, it's about doing things that you enjoy and actually want to do. But it seems that everyone is stretching for brownie points - things to make them stand out, as though we're all 'candidates' in a brawl over jobs rather than simply being 'people' where the world is what we make of it, not what it makes of us.

But, yes, to be fair, I do feel like 4 months of nothing is going to be a HUGE waste of my time and, if you're in the same boat, then I hope that we can help each other out.

IT'S LIST TIME (again) !!! And I'm going to be joining in so by the end of my summer, I'll fill you in on how well I did.

Here's my list of:

'50 things that can make your summer better/ more productive so that you don't feel like a tree-hugging sloth' 

1. Find some work experience
  Might sound boring but if you have a passion or curiosity then you can't lose. Many companies offer places for as little as 1 or 2 days! And ... if you get it out of the way in early summer then you've done good and don't have to feel guilty about lounging around the house all day for the rest of your holidays!

2. Head to the theatre and indulge in a good ol' play or, even a musical
3. Plan a local trip or a day in the city and soak up all the culture
4. Volunteer your time once a week to a charity/ shelter

5. See if you can get work as a summer temp
  They may even take you on afterwards!

6. Deepen your faith
7. Meet up with family and friends that you haven't seen for ages, take loads of pictures and have an AWESOME time (how about camping in the New Forest? Or in your back garden? Barbecues or a simple trip to the ice rink)
8. Try curing one of your fears
9. Do a movie marathon
10. Develop or find a new hobby
11. Attempt to create a business with your own innovative idea

12. Do a charity challenge
  There are plenty of things going on in summer - such as the Race for Life and various marathons. Get involved with one of these and get sponsored or make up your own challenge. I'm currently on my own challenge of going vegan for an entire month - I've had multiple slip ups so I'm now aiming for 50 days of complete meat free (a little hard when you have to stay with carnivorous family and friends!) You of course, don't have to go so extreme. How about trying to give up meat for a fortnight? Then donate the money you've saved to charity. For my challenge, I'm aiming to convert the amount of meat I eat in those 50 days in lb (pounds) to £ (pounds) - and double it if I succeed - in a project I've called ©"Pounds to Pounds". This is one of those things that you can do on your own without anyone sponsoring you and makes you feel super-good about yourself, proud that you're helping others as well as healthy!

13. Start taking driving lessons
14. Learn a language
15. Give your room a revamp -- how about jars filled with multicoloured or fresh pinecones? A fresh coat of paint? A cluster of assorted candles?
16. Begin your #100daysofhappiness
17. Soak up the sun with a load of picnics, beach trips and outdoor games with your friends
18. Have a wardrobe clear out and donate all the clothes to a local charity shop
19. Pick an actor and watch all the films they've been in - Every. Single. One. 

20. Start a blog!
  Need I say more? Blogging has been such an important tool for me in terms of communication, developing who I am and giving me something to do. What's more, I now have an entire archive of everything that I have every written and published which will live on the internet long after I'm gone. If you, haven't started, then have a go (I think I've proved that nothing you write has to have any direction AT ALL) and if you've started and 'failed', picked yourself up and try again!

21. Get baking and come up with some new creations ---> chocolate and chilli fudge brownies anyone?

22. Make a list of all your skills and everything they've taught you
  When I was looking for my job, I was in desperate need of revamping my CV and I started with writing out my 'skills set'. It had 3 columns: 1) What the activity was 2) What I did 3) What it taught me or what skills I demonstrated ... and the result was something like this;

e.g. ACTIVITY: Journalism work experience at "..." --- TASKS: designing my own version of the magazine --- SKILLS: creativity, IT usage, negotiation

It helped me oodles and I reckon that it was super useful in getting me my job. Plus, it was such a great exercise to pinpoint the things that I had learnt and where - such a great morale booster!

23. Become a dog walker for a neighbour 
24. Start saving for something worthwhile ...
25. ... or blow all your money on some concert tickets (you only live once)
26. Designate a whole day to go without a TV, laptop/ computer, internet, music, phone and any other electric devices
27. Begin writing a novel
28. Make proper lemonade and sip reading your favourite book under a tree
29. Go out for a day with nothing but the things that you can fit in your trouser or cardigan pockets or carry in your hands ... OR ... with as little as possible

30. Read an entire series of books or pick up some classics and get through them
  As my 19th birthday dawned on me and the words of the late Stephen Sutton rang in my ears, I knew that there were just somethings that I HAD to do whilst I was still, technically, a child. One of them was to complete the entire Harry Potter series (something that I had never even thought of when I was younger). But if, unlike me, you've already done that and read every other book series that's going, how about picking up some of the classics and giving them a read. I know what you're thinking, "aw Laura, is that the only alternative?" Well, I know not everyone has a passion for Shakespeare (unfortunately - me included). When I was told to read classics,  picked up Jane Austen and fell in love. But there's so many more. How about Frankenstein, or The Great Gatsby (I know that they're on my list for summer) ? Or, you could even try reading a book of a film that's out at the cinema and see if you can finish the book and make it to the cinema in time to see the film (or maybe try to finish it before it comes out on DVD).

31. Host a tea party with your friends
32. Make an exercise routine and stick to it (for a month, at least)
33. Watch an entire box set 
34. Get rid of your anxiety by writing your worries down on a piece of paper, folding it into a bottle and sending it out to sea
35. Make a scrapbook of your favourite memories
36. Get hooked on a new genre of music or a new artist that hardly anyone has ever heard of

37. Head out to the selection of free festivals and carnivals available throughout the country
  Check out the link, here: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/free-uk-festivals
Money Saving Expert have got it all sorted. Simply select your preferred region and get scribbling the dates down in your diary!

38. Make a birthday cake for one of your friends or a member of your family
39. Get active
40. Buy dinner for a homeless person
41. Get your body to your ideal size/ weight
42. Set yourself a budget and see how far you can get on public transport with it
  Got a spare tenner in your wallet? See how far you can go on the train! Can you go further on the bus? Wherever you end up, get out and have a look around - seize the day and get home when it's dark

43. Read a collection of children's books
44. Go to a book signing, find someone famous or attend a celebrity event to get a glimpse of the stars
45. Plan and execute a 3 course meal for yourself or your family

46. Spend a day being a child again
  Take yourself back to your youth and spend a day being a child again. Buy an inflatable swimming pool and spend all day in it. Chase your dog up and down the fields. Play hide and seek. Spend hours drawing. Take silly pictures on your camera. Make rice crispie cakes. The possibilities are endless!

47. Start a diary
48. Spend a day detoxing your body - drinking green tea, eat plenty of fruit and veg, guzzling water and meditating

49. Re-work the way you view yourself
  Write down a couple of your favourite qualities about yourself. Ask your friends to describe you. Write down your greatest achievements and display them.

50. Write your bucket list

*UPDATE (from my friend, James): GO KAYAKING!*

Life, if anything, is all about experiences and what you can get out of the time you have here. It's true, going to different countries and working or volunteering do give you the most FANTABULOUS experiences, but just because you've missed out this year doesn't mean you have to spend your summer missing out. 

You're KIDDING!!

So, to the envy of many, as a humanities student my first year at uni is over! I can't believe it's gone so fast and yet ...

I've achieved quite a lot as a person I think, without really having to try. And that had been the beauty of uni to me. Of course, a nice First is still out of my sights, but a sparkly certificate with how well I can remember things and write them done as a judge of how intellectual I am was never, and is never going to be, my objective. It's all the added bonus'. It's the gifts I received that have surprised me and all the little things in between. 

If you've followed this blog for a while, you'll know that I'm a fan of lists. One of my best friends actually bought me a little journal for my 19th this year and I use it to write down all my to-do lists like bucket lists, summer plans and books I want to read before I die. I'm forever adding to it and taking far far longer to actually tick things off. But that'll come. 

So here's another one of my lists; 14 things I never thought would happen to me at uni. 

1. I never thought that I would stop crying

 Uni is a horrible emotional roller coaster.  I'm not a hard and unfeeling person. I can sometimes get quite worked up about little things. But, until recently, I've always found it hard to cry. It sounds silly. But when I left England to move to Dubai my tear shed was minimal. I said good-bye to my friends without a feeling of remorse. Arguably that could be due to the fact that I was more excited about living in another country than leaving the one I was in. But I didn't feel anything. There were times where I wondered if God had forgotten to put a sense of feeling in me. 

He hadn't because when I moved to uni, crying was literally the only thing I did. I cried saying goodbye to my parents. On the plane. At my nan's. On Skype. When I opened my emails. Chopping lettuce. Before bed. In bed. In the morning. 

I went from the girl who had no tears to the girl who had too many. 

After a while I didn't want to be sad anymore. I just wanted to live my life and I did wonder if I would be sad forever. Of course, I'm not. When people tell me that I'm happy, it's the best feeling in the world. 

And it's amazing for me to have come out of that horribly sad stage. I feel renewed by all the tears I've cried and rejuvenated by the fact that I've left that sadness behind and 100% turned the situation around. 

2. I never thought I would be at uni. 

I think uni is one of those life events that you accept. You think, when you're younger, about going to uni, getting a job, getting married and having a family. You plan these things without ever really being able to hold onto the fact that they WILL happen. When you're young they're a long way off but all too suddenly they're upon you and you can't see yourself becoming or going where you thought you would. 

When I was younger (even up to a few years ago) on Christmas Eve, every year, I thought that I was going to die. I got so excited for Christmas and couldn't anticipate what the day would be like. I thought that because I couldn't imagine the next day, I wasn't going to wake up and be part of it. 

That's probably the best way to describe how I felt at uni. I didn't know what it would be like so I could never imagine me going. 

But I'm here and alive and I've made it! Something I never thought I would do: done! 

3. I never thought I would have a job.

My job means the world to me. I absolutely LOVE it. I didn't really think retail was for me. When I thought about which out of the 500 job applications I'd sent out over the few months I'd been applying, I thought I'd become a waitress working in a coffee shop. Instead I work with clothes! 

To tell the truth, I don't actually remember applying for my job. But thankfully I know I did, because they were the only people to offer me a job. 

Getting to grips with things at first was hard. And there are still things I get wrong - like the tills! But I absolutely love what I do and that's made all the better by the people that surround me. 

It's really the people I work with that make Sunday shifts so enjoyable. I feel like I'm part of something special and they're just another group of fantastic people that I get to talk to and get to know. 

It's fab and I honestly didn't think that I would end up where I did. When you get multiple rejections from KFC, it can make you feel pretty useless but I am so grateful for the job I've been able to secure :D

4. I never thought I would buy a gym membership.

Of course, exercise is not for me. Food, food, food and more food makes up my life and working off those calories is a big ask. I didn't think I would buy a gym membership let alone one at £140! I had better things to spend that money on - like books. But I conformed and found myself slightly out of pocket and with a will to get my money's worth.

To be fair, I have used the gym a bit but it probably equates to about £20 a visit. I've been into the gym once - toned brunettes and muscular weight lifting guys kind of puts you off when your a complete novice at the treadmill. 

But the swimming pool had my undivided attention for a few weeks as did the exercise classes (until I got fined for missing a week). It's been a good thing to have in my purse but as to whether I but one next year ... well, we'll have to wait and see!! 

5. I never thought that I would join the Christian Union.
At the start of Uni I suppose that I was very prejudiced, though I wouldn't have believed you if that's what you would have told me.

Developing my faith was one of my big 'things to do' at uni and I did. But I didn't do it at uni. I started going to church and helping at their community events. The Christians I knew at uni always seemed too good when I compared them to me. Most of my church was a bit older than me and I felt less intimidated when I didn't know things. I wanted to be a Christian and not feel guilty about never being 'good enough'. 

But little by little I found myself going to Christian Union events. I attended an ALPHA course which helped me find God and realise that He never actually left. And on the course and on our trip to the New Forest I realised how lovely, genuine, caring and fun these people actually were.

I began going to the weekly worship sessions and wanting to go out with them. I never thought I would. 

At the start I believed that my faith was for me but I sooner realised that the more I shared it the stronger I became.

I wasn't worried about what I believed and never worried about sharing it with others. That was just the kind of behaviour that made it blossom.

6. I never thought that a group of people that I had never met would vote for me to become the Recruitment and Outreach officer within our RAG society.
This one's pretty self-explanatory but I was so so so shocked that I was chosen for this role. The 2 people I was up against seemed so keen and dedicated to the charity that I felt ashamed to even be standing up and being considered. But as they called my name, I was elated!

As a Recruitment and Outreach officer, I am in charge of the volunteers, the emails and the blog which I am absolutely buzzing for!!! Roll on year 2 (after a few months rest, at least)

7. I never thought that I would get back on a bike. 
You never forget how to ride a bike, right? Apart from when you do!

I was so excited to get my nan's old bike to use for uni. It meant that I would be getting fit whilst going places and I hoped to explore the far reaches of Southampton and even make it to the New Forest.

Well... that didn't happen.

I collected my bike from my nan's, free-wheeled down the hill to the ferry and got scared. I walked it onto the ferry and off and walked it all the way home. I locked it up and didn't touch it for a week when I took it out once more and nearly fell off. The brakes couldn't be used independently and I felt embarrassed with the creaky saddle round uni and soon lost confidence in it.

But I never gave up, and a few weeks later after eyeing it in the shed, I got it out and began cycling to places - to the shops - or just to the common to give it a whirl. I began to love it! I loved cycling and taking a picnic and just going for it. Everything was so close when I had my old bike.

Yes, it did squeak and the brakes took some getting used to but, besides all that, it was perfect.

Until one day I rode it into the common and with a clunk the gears gave way. I phoned my nan, fixing my bike in the process and got back on the road only for me to change the gears again and for it to clunk out of sync.

I walked it all the way home.

And that's where it sits now. In the hall shed waiting for me to get my bum around to fixing it and parting with cash in doing so. 

8. I never thought I would fly home alone at the age of 18.
I've been on my fair few share of flights. I've been on a plane at least once nearly every one of my 19 years and so I knew that with this kind of travel, the world is your oyster.

But what made me wonder that there was something more to flying than I first thought was that everyone always got so stressed about flying.

Do we have passports? Coats? Have we taken care of the dog? Are all the windows shut? 

And so on and so forth. So when it was my turn to fly on my own, I expected it to be harder than it actually was. Airports work almost like clockwork if you're not looking to get onto a connecting flight and don't have a suspicious air about you.

I definitely didn't think that I would fly somewhere on my own at the age of 18 but it wasn't even that bad!

9. I never thought I would go out.

So I'm not the 'cool' girl. I never have been. Always, in some hole at the back of my mind, there was this knowledge that if you drank alcohol you were popular or cool. 

Remember those parties, maybe you got invited to them - those ones where everyone sits around and drinks underage. Where there's so many people you don't even know and just for that reason you know that you're in the 'in' crowd. 

At uni, that changes. If you drink, you fulfil the student stereotype. Equally, if you don't that also very acceptable.

I found that I slotted, rather bizarrely, into the first category (at uni, at least) and I was soon going out 3 times a week and consuming much more alcohol than was recommended and sleeping more hours as a result.

It was only when I realised that everyone else had somewhat toned down and that I need to get higher grades that I took off my party hat and limited it to just 1 day a week! I began to crave Fridays like chocolate! 

10. I never thought that I would voluntarily give up meat. 
I became a vegan out of conscience before I became one for health reasons.

After Easter, I voluntarily gave up meat, eggs, cheese and milk and embarked on a quest to see what I could do with multiple cans of beans, bread and pasta.

I actually realised that being a vegan wasn't all that hard. It was just a case of adapting old recipes to things that didn't contain dairy or meat or eggs.

But the concept seems so much harder. Especially when recipe books throw beans at you left, right and center. NO! I DON'T WANT ANY MORE BEANS!!

11. I never thought that I would be single.
Seems a bit vain to include this one on the list, but that's not the way I mean it at all.

Everyone tells you that you'll meet your soul mate at uni, but what if they're just not there?

I had hopes that I would find someone and I went through a couple of phases but in the end, it's still just me and I'm probably better for it. I don't think I'm ready for anyone else in my life! I can barely manage myself!

12. I never thought that I would share. 
Sharing's not really my thing. I understand why someone would do it but why would I want to give someone half my packet of chocolate when I could finish the whole thing myself.

Well, this was one of the first things I learnt about uni. It was probably the most important thing to learn. When I began to share food with people and pay halves for things, I began to get less materialistic. I stopped worrying about money and what I was spending and instead, I realised that money was meant to be spent and it felt even better to share it with friends!

13. I never thought I would sign a tenancy agreement to rent a house
Signing a tenancy agreement this year for our house in Year 2 made me feel so grown up! And it was a bit unbelievable! It felt like we could afford a house (though we couldn't) and that it the height of adultness.

But it didn't make me grow up as much as I liked to think. I still don't know what a mortage is and why anyone has one.

(You can read about that very day here ---> http://turningoldpages.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/im-grown-up.html?q=grown)

14. I never thought that I would love my course as much as I do.
I still remember the first time that I realised I would have to do work at Uni. My first piece of homework. I sat at my desk.

How to approach this?

I cleared space and set out my pens. I was methodical and cautious about starting since after a 3 month long summer, I knew that I wouldn't be able to rest once I started work again.

And it was true. Despite not having that many hours on my timetable, reading a book a week for English was tough and getting into a routine of practicing my Spanish and keep the level up was even more daunting.

But through it all I have absolutely loved my course. I've learnt, if anything, so many things about life! Theories. How some things in this world exist. How others don't. And how our relations are constructed.

And yes, I am doing English and Spanish.

I've thoroughly enjoy this year and I can't explain how excited I am for next year and the modules I've picked!

But enough of that now, it's time to put uni to the back of my mind. Harry Potter's calling! :D 

My Lemons

~ "When life gives you a lemon, you peel it and find it, instead, to be an orange. That is because, one of the first lessons of the human condition is that one should not spend their life turning something bitter into something sweet, as lemons into lemonade, but rather realise that nothing life gives you is ever as sour as a lemon. Everything is rich in opportunity and vitamins for the soul, just like an orange." ~ By ME (18/05/2014)

I don't reckon dying is pretty. But death can be beautiful. It's quiet and peaceful and on beautiful sunny days like this, the deceased can be the only people to 100% benefit from it. Unattached, they are part of the gorgeous weather and are free to enjoy it. They take each day for what it's worth down to the core. They appreciate it like humans are unable to with our multiple thoughts about what to do next, or what we ought to be doing, regretting that we didn't wear our shorts and saddening at the fact that the day will soon end.

This Saturday, I had a desire which on the surface seemed morbid and I was entirely unable to explain it to myself. 

One of my best friends had put me up for the weekend. Whenever I do the Saturday and Sunday shift at work, she always does. But this weekend marked the second time in a row and I hadn't properly thanked her beyond words. On my lunch break, I took a walk into town to Sainsbury's to buy chocolate and a bunch of white and yellow 'seasonal flowers'. 

I paid and as I walked back to work with this bouquet perched on my arm like an army soldier holds a rifle in parade, a sudden urge swept over me. Suddenly, I didn't want to be heading to work. I wanted to be going to a cemetery and spending the boiling sunshine with someone who was no longer alive. I wanted to appreciate the day, buy flowers and mark a grave with them. Then sit in the sun besides their headstone and reminisce. It felt the best way to make the most of the day. But I don't know why that felt so blissful, so perfect or so right. 

When we were to younger, we used to read grave stones with mum. She took us round various places, some local and some on our trips to the new forest, and she instilled in us a courage - one that told us not to be afraid of dying, not to dodge death and to be respectful to those who had passed on. It gave us a love of quirky literature and a respect for other people's lives. 

  We would walk around and see who was who. Who had been a mother, a brother, a great grandmother or a friend. Who was the oldest and, sadly, who was the youngest. We would look at freshly covered graves with mini gates to Heaven. And gingerly run past the spots that had been broken in. It was something we had always done and something we were indifferent to. 

But, we were incredibly fortunate. Apart from our Grandad, who I knew only from photos and the memories that I had fabricated from them, no one close to us had died. We had little experience of death or of a death so personal. And so, with my flowers in hand and my lunch break counting down, I realised that I had no one to sit with. I wanted to put flowers on a grave that wasn't full and talk to someone who was still alive. 

  There was no one who could fulfill this deep desire of mine. Which, looking back, of course was very lucky. It was comforting to know that all my family and friends were alive and well. 

When I go to se my auntie, there's this place I pass on the train line. It's called Brookwood and it's the UK's largest cemetery. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Just vast expanses of fields covered with graves. And people knelt down tending to them. There's flowers everywhere and barely a soul walking around. It's so tranquil and beautiful.

*

Having the job that I have means the absolute world to me! I have no words to describe how much I love it. When I come out to go home I feel exhilarated by the people I am fortunate enough to work with. By the customers I meet in store. And just by the fact that I am worth something - that I have something that is vital to the clockwork of the company. I am a member of the team that is so crucial to the sales we make and the people the brand attracts.

It's such a wonderful feeling to be part of that. And so, when I lost my job, I felt absolutely devastated.

I wasn't fired but I was told that the only alternative to working all summer and not getting to see my family was to head out to Dubai and resign. It was an obvious choice but it was so upsetting to do it. I felt that I had come so far since getting my job, that to lose it would put me at a loose end and back to where I started: frantically searching websites for any and everything that advertised a vacancy and having countless emails that told me that I was unsuccessful. (I still get them - even now. 5. Months. On.)

Yet, the thought that I had after being told this news by my manager was not anything like I've just said above. That came after. My first thought was simply this: 

"God has given me an opportunity."

And, for a momentary lapse in my sadness, I felt like I wasn't losing at all. 

Since being at uni, religion has had such a deep influence on me. I've learnt so much and been able to deepen my faith and relationship with God. It has been fantastic and for that one thought to be my first in a disheartening situation, most definitely tells me that I'm going somewhere and that I am better for it. 

And so, life threw me my lemons and I ate them like oranges. Perhaps knowing that my job is coming to an end, like dying, isn't pretty and it does still hurt. But when it's over, I can begin to mould things anew. And the prospect of that, is rather beautiful. 

Among the fashionistas!!

Despite appearances, it's been pretty hard for me to get the constant readership that I'd hoped to bring with my blog. Being a writer in a virtual world overrun with fashion bloggers doesn't come easy!

I've been through countless sites searching for ways to improve on numbers but that's not to say that numbers are everything. I absolutely love what I do and, more than anything, what I write is a way of giving all my thoughts a purpose. I don't think someone with this many thoughts should leave them bundled up in her head.

I have a box under my bed which I got as a gift before uni and inside I store all these thoughts as well as tickets from things that I've done and places that I've been. Everytime I'm angry or super super passionate about something - which happens more often - and I'm full to bursting with it, I whack out my typewriter. It's, perhaps, one of the best things I've ever put my money towards and it was £10 in a charity shop! I absolutely love it and (touch wood) so far it has cost me absolutely NOTHING to run. All the spools of tape were included and are still in working order!

So out the typewriter comes, in a piece of A4 goes and I get underway bashing out the thoughts on the tip of every pore in my body. And then, with the same methodology every time, I fold it and put it in this box.

But my thoughts are not only there. They're everywhere. On post-it notes around my room. On mind-maps above my bed. In books in my drawer. In journals. In margins at the sides of novels. Everywhere! And also, they're in every post that I write.

What aren't in my blog posts though is anything of use. Well, that is ... there's no tips on how to do your hair. How I wear my make-up and my favourite health-store buys. You won't find anything like that here (you'll know as a reader!) It's just a collection of jumbled thought.

But I was thinking ... what if I was "one among the fashionistas" so to speak? What if, this was the post where I told you all of those hair and make-up queries that I'm sure you're dying to know? Well, lucky for you ---- IT'S TIIIIIIME!!


OOTD:
Every classic fashion blog starts with this: OOTD (Outfit Of The Day - I had to work this one out for myself) or ODJ (Outfit Du Jour)

So this is probably the extent of it. This is what I wore today - a grey jumper, highwaisted black and gold shorts and grey plimsolls. Why? Because the sun was momentarily shining and I had to wear something before I started my essays this morning.

I've come to learn that every good fashionista also needs a lap dog who will follow them around and make sure the camera angle is perfect and the lighting is spot on. They have proper SLR cameras with a million buttons which do countless. For this photo I had my laptop - good ol' "You-cam".

The dress sense I have kind of happens by mistake. I'm fairly safe with what I wear and favour comfort over appearance. I could never understand girls at school who didn't wear tights, white knee high shocks or a jumper, blazer and rain mac like me!



HAIR:
Nearly every fashion blogger can tell you exactly how they do their hair in the morning. I've seen it so many times. They do tutorials. They, simply, know how to do their hair.

Ask me how I do my hair and I will tell you that I have absolutely no idea. My hair today came out near enough exactly how I wanted it a couple of days ago but I have no idea why. It changes from day to day.

Every other day I wash my hair - that never changes. But the shampoo and conditioner I use is never the same. I'm currently on some coconut shampoo from ASDA and a 40p mega bottle of conditioner from Sainsbury's that had lasted me nearly 4 months. They're not the best quality hence why I'll walk out of the shower with the same amount of knots in my hair as when I walked in.

Then to the brushing. Pretty self-explanatory. It hurts but with a leeway of about 5 minutes each time, all the knots come out.

Sometimes I grease the ends with split end seal. Sometime I don't.

Sometimes I put in curling mousse. Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I use a diffuser on my hair and sometimes just the plain old hairdryer.

And the length of time I spend drying my hair depends on whether I'm day-dreaming and enjoying being hung upside down from the waist.

My hair just happens. On it's own and I have very little control. So ask me to show you how to do your hair like mine (if you really wanted to know) and I'd reply: no, I can't.

What next? Of course ...

MAKE-UP:

I'm all for rocking what God and your mumma gave you! I hardly ever wear make-up and just use a splash on a night out - a bit of lippy and mascara - but even then I won't look at myself for too long in the mirror. It never feels like me. My lips were never meant to be that red and all night I have to remind myself not to rub my eyes because it'll smudge.

Make-up's not for me. I couldn't deal with seeing 2 versions of myself every day. 

Everyday, it's just me.

HEALTH-STORE BUYS:

I barely even know what a health-store is! I've never been, but if I had to fill this category my favourite shop, it would probably have to be ASDA. I love how cheap everything is and that even responsibly produced stuff will save you a few pennies! 24p soup all the way!

So how was that for you?

*

I'm not a fashion blogger, and with what I've written above, I have no hope if that's the path I decide to go down. 

When I was younger I had about a thousand crisis' trying to figure out who I was and what I was good at. That was only because I felt as though I had to fit a mode. That was only because what I thought the world needed was one more of what it already had in abundance. 

If I'd have 'obeyed' the laws of blogging and tried to mould myself on the success of fashion blogger's like Style By Kieren or Girl About Dubai or Zoella, I might just have fallen short of the mark. Well, let's face it - I would have. 

Often success only comes from being the person that you are. From throwing away conformity and not being downhearted when you think you're not as good as someone else because you're not achieving as much as they are. 

This is the constant struggle of my life but it's so important that I'm learning from it. I'm not a fashion blogger. I don't have a million readers. But I have me. And though all those people I mentioned just above are INCREDIBLY talented, I'm just talented in a different ways. 

Sometimes life is about starting with a small crack in the rock and chipping away until you've made yourself a home. That's all :D  

"What have you done to-day to make you feeeeeeeel proud"

It's so easy to say: "WOAH! That was so inspiring!" but it's so much harder to act upon it.

I heard about Stephen's Story a few days before my 19th birthday in April. I clicked on his page and saw a pioneer - someone who was desperate to live life, to help others and have fun whilst doing it.

I began to read profusely about him, typing his name into Google and finding everything about who this incredible teenager was. What I saw written on various webpages was that he was a 19 year old with incurable cancer. What I read in my mind that he was the same age as me.

This birthday, I did something I've never done before. Every birthday, after presents and cake and, sometimes, a party my birthday is over. That's it and life just goes on. Birthdays are just markers: a day in the year to break up the routine of life. A day when I can tell myself that I can eat absolutely anything I want in any quantity I desire.

But this year, as I turned 19 on my own at midnight, I decided to be different. The story of Stephen Sutton was in the back of my mind and I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 20 and was officially not a teenager anymore.

It made this birthday, more than any other, feel so special and I got into the habit of telling myself: "If this was your last day on earth would you feel like it was a good end? Would you leave with no regrets?" and words to this effect:

It was a little bit morbid at first, as though at any moment or any morning I could wake up and it might be my last. But it was the most motivating thing for me. 

I started doing little things: like making sure that I met up with friends at every opportunity, and started planning for bigger things: like my first 5k run. 

I began desiring for new experience and grabbing everything I had the opportunity to. A few weeks ago, I became the Recruitment and Outreach Officer for our university RAG society with exactly that same mentality. If I had the opportunity to run for something and make a difference, now was the time to do it. 

And low and behold, I was successful!

But what was most important for me was that I not only looked to the future, but remembered what I had already done. I didn't just want to have plans to do things and then when they were done, they were done. I wanted to have something to hold onto. I wanted to know what I'd already achieved and how I could build on them so that, even if I didn't achieve the things on my list that I'd planned, I still knew that I'd been somewhere. 

And for all of this there was no inspiration quite like that of Stephen Sutton's story and his optimism. When I read the update that his mum put on the page this morning, I cried. There was such a rich emotion attached to Stephen that was felt by everyone. I felt like mountains had been moved and everyone had this drive to support what Stephen did and what we were all doing by donating and raising awareness for the Teenage Cancer Trust. 

For me, knowing about Stephen gave me a kick, to do things that were new to me and things I'd always been meaning to do. To take more of those experiences and to love life even more! 

Do more, love more, be more! 

Sparks to Flames

To say that I was apprehensive about seeing a good friend of mine play a gig with his band would be, not only, rude but wholly and entirely untrue. The thought of it was so exciting and novel! :D

The word 'Flashfires' a few months ago would have drawn images of Australia. Of wild fires, destruction and fear. But now I've come to realise it as a synonym of musical expression, passion and sheer, sheer talent.

I'd heard Flashfires new single on the day of it's release anticipating that it would be good, but perhaps not as good and professional as it turned out. On the 5th May I searched for 'Circus Boy' (their debut single) on Spotify! To be truthful, I'm addicted to Spotify. How practically every song recorded is all in the same place baffles me more than it should. And so, when I found Flashfires there was this sense that the band was already going places. One does not simply just appear on Spotify! 

I'd heard their single multiple times and on repeat a few moments before I was to leave the flat and off to my first ever Flashfires gig! 

The venue was only small and, as of 8pm, not yet full with sweaty men and women in leather jackets and dressed to the nines in black. The boys seemed rather relaxed and it was so nice to get to know them on a personal level as people before musicians. 

But it wasn't long (since I arrived late! - surprise, surprise) that they were off; earplugs in, guitars tuned and (for Fraser) glasses on.

I hadn't heard any of their material before. But on the basis of 'Circus Boy', if their music was anything like that single, it was going to be a good night. 

And it was! Their set was bloody fantastic!! Absolutely amazing and I couldn't believe it. I had a clear idea that they were going to be good but as good as they were? I couldn't imagine! 

And I was amazed; not only by their musical talent but by the fact that they were so incredibly modest for the amount of talent that they had. I would be raving about it to everyone if it was me. But the band seemed content with what they had. Nevertheless, I just couldn't help wondering why everyone isn't on Flashfires??!! Why aren't there millions of repeated mouse clicks on the tune on Spotify? Or repeated downloads on iTunes? They're fantastic! And the energy of lead singer: Alex Gonzato, is unprecedented!! 

Now let's just stay with him for a minute. Of course, what comes with hanging around with a group of your best friends for over 4 years is a whole host of jokes that can't be explained to the 'outside' world and a few nicknames which can be explained to practically anyone. For Alex, his nickname: Gonzo, was simply a contraction of his surname; Gonzato. But what it meant was something so personal and true - or so bandmate Fraser tells me. 

Ever heard of the word 'Gonzo'? Nope, me neither. But you WILL actually find it in the dictionary. It means eccentric which most definitely defines Alex and his performing style.

I had such an amazing time last night and could only describe the event to myself in a string of expletives followed by the word "brilliant". 

They played my personal favourite at the start: 'Manshark' (the demo video of which you can find here) along with their debut single: 'Circus Boy' and a load of great songs in between. 

Suffice to say, I was bawled over by their performance and I cannot recommend them more! Everything about these guys suggest that they're onto a winner and I would urge EVERYONE to do their best to make it to one of their gigs. They were brilliant. Absolutely brilliant! 

Please please please take a look below. There's a list of their upcoming tour dates and I would thoroughly recommend you sticking the dates in your diary. These guys need your support and ought to feature on any and all music devices that you and everyone you know own! Please give them your time; hit 'follow' on Spotify, 'download' on Amazon and iTunes and 'play' on YouTube.

Honestly, they won't let you down.


(MANSHARK - FLASHFIRES)

A lyrical number!!

Seems like we're having a bit of a music day today :D (Not sure what I'm talking about? Check out my earlier post about Flashfires' New single release http://turningoldpages.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/spreading-like-wild-fire.html)

"I HATE" by Passenger is one of the best works of lyric genius ever! I absolutely love it and its wit and sarcasm that reigns true every time I hear it. It's absolutely brilliant!

For a while I've wanted to write down the rhyming pattern and create my own version. That's basically what procrastination had me do today.

It's a poem. But not a beautiful as Mrs D. Mrs I. Mrs F-F. I. Mrs C. Mrs U. Mrs L-T-Y

I wrote the basic rhyming structure of the first verse and copied it and then inspiration just took me on a rollercoaster of thought and now I have a recorded and written version on my typewriter!

THE GENIE - I WISH:

I wish I had a pound, 

For every time that came round, 

When some body questioned my race. 

I wish I was a cop,

Because I would fine every beautician to stop,

Pulling hairs from all over my face. 

I wish I could settle,

Put on the kettle, 

With a boy/ guy and be done with this chase.

But life's quite hard,

It's a fine and detailed art,

And every one's picking up the pace.

I wish I had a sister,

Who'd pick out my mister,

And do my hair up in a bun.

I wish I had a flat belly,

Like the ones on the telly,

Then I wouldn't be scared of the sun. 

And I wish very much,

That I had a magic watch,

To bring home my dad, brothers and mum.  (<---- probably the only part of this poem I'd like!)

Because life's very hard,

A fine and detailed art, 

And everyone's starting to run. 

I wish people would stop,

Smoking outside the shop,

So that we all didn't have to inhale 'fag'.

I wish I had a sports bra,

So when I ran too far,

My boobs wouldn't begin to sag.

I wish people wouldn't joke,

About ... you know: that bloke,

It's just a man dressed as a woman in drag.

But life's so hard,

A fine and detailed art, 

And now I'm beginning to lag. 

Yet I know these things, 

I don't need them all,

Because soon enough I will cease.

So I'll start from the bottom,

All the way to the top,

Before my skin starts to crease.

Because if there's one thing I know, 

About life it's this:

You never know what you've got 'til it's gone. 

So stop what you're doing,

Stressing and running, 

And just go and have fun. 

THE END

Don't know if I have to copyright this (ahaha) but if you hear it anywhere else, you heard it first here! 

Spreading Like Wild Fire!

It's funny where life puts you. How it puts you there and who it puts you with.

I remember, as a child, all I could ever dream of was being famous. I wanted to be a singer until I grew old enough to learn that my singing ability wasn't worthy of anything but calling together a pack of wolves. I changed. I wanted to be an actress.

Yes, I remember thinking. This is right. 

One of my first drama performances as a year 7 saw me rolling around the floor having created my own ghost story. I performed it, rather fearlessly, to the entire class having spent hours practicing in my bedroom. I like to think that I achieved great things with it. But every subsequent performance I EVER did at school was compared to that one performance. Nothing matched up. I couldn't top it.

I wasn't a singer. I wasn't an actress. And it took me a while to realise that fame was most probably more agro for me than it was worth. For a while I had an ache. I was, potentially, giving up a life of fame because I believed that I couldn't do it. I wanted to do something. But slowly settled away from hopes of fame to just being myself and sharing what I was capable of with others.

There are some of us in life who were meant for things like fame. Who have things worth sharing with everyone else and who have something so uniquely awe-inspiring that no-one can get enough. And there are some who aren't meant for fame but just for ourselves and others.

I've never had a particular genre of music I walk towards. Different things fit different situations. Ben Howard. Katy Perry. Imagine Dragons. Jessie J. Metallica (sometimes!) And in that sense music is an experiment.

'Flashfires' is one band that fits the bill and they are, most certainly, one of those collaborations designed for great things in the world of music. There's nothing about this photo which doesn't scream "we're going to make it!"



The band define themselves, rather uniquely, in the category of "Fire-Indie-Disco-Rock" and their debut single CIRCUS BOY is out today - available on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and anywhere where music is the centre of life!!

Their music is fantastic and should be right up your street if you're a bit of a music extraordinaire and like things that are a little bit different. Indeed, if you're a fan of indie music or rock or even disco, why not combine them all and give Flashfires a try? Even if you're not into that kind of music, one listen can't hurt -----> Circus Boy by Flashfires- you know you want to :D

A review of their live set coming soon!