Love Is All You Need

Now I'm older, it seems that all the world revolves around is love. Every song ever written seems to be falling in or out of love. Every book we read has, if not as the main plot, a subplot of love. Every film we watch includes a mandatory kiss. Love seems like its everything and, if you're single, this can be a pretty damning way of seeing the world: through the perfect and glossy rose-tinted specs of someone else. 
  Recently, I've come to expand my views on love. Rather than see it as integral for 'people my age' or as 'something that will happen if you wait long enough', I've tried to shift my view from finding love in a person to finding love in life. I'm not, at present, looking for the love of my life, but, rather, the love of life, itself. My desire to travel has recently and unexpectedly heightened and to go with it, I've began writing about my intentions to travel and uncover little rivers of life in different places. Maybe it sounds like I'm running away from my lack of love. But I know that, this time, I'm not. 

  But, of course, there are plenty of people actually looking for relationships and "The Undateables" is, quite possibly, the most humbling show that I have ever watched. 

  Undateable. It sounds incredibly derogatory and completely untrue. No one can be totally undateable. The word itself suggests love to be some kind of initiation. Once you've had a date: 'Congratulations! You're dateable.' It's like a trial: once you've had a date you get some more credits, some gold coins, and a certificate. (You don't.) 

  What would it mean if you were to die without have a date? If you were to die, undateable? Some people have never sucked a chocolate fondue through a straw. Others die without having done a sky dive. The vast majority of people haven't lived with Buddhist monks in Nepal. All of these things are fun. They're exhilarating and, the latter, is life-changing. But it's not 'social code' to do things like this. They're 'add on' experiences. Things that "Yeah, if I could/ had the time/ had the money/ wasn't so scared of ..." would be great things to say you've done. But you don't have to. 
  It seems that everyone has to do love. (Or at least, a date.)

  And so, it was for this very stubborn and constructed reason that I vowed I wouldn't watch "The Undateables". But as the advert popped up time and time again over Christmas, I began to realise how important and crucial love is to people's lives. Apart from being a great way to procrastinate and relax after revision, the series is just really really beautiful. It's one of those things that restores you're faith in humanity. It's something that makes you think differently about others. A show that demonstrates the true nature of love. Not everything is the hunky, fairytale one-click wonder moment. It is, very much, like a trial. Something quite remarkable. Something quite beautiful. Something that everyone, irrespective of whether they want it, needs. 

Parasite

As Liberia declares a state of emergency, for me, the Ebola outbreak is just the scariest thing in the news right now. It's like an apocalypse but real.

Humans are the only species in the animal kingdom capable of massacre and incredible destruction. We chop rainforests down, we take ocean predators and stick them in cages, we shoot down our own neighbours. 

And yet, we're so defenseless. We're like the bullies of the world making ourselves big and mighty and powerful because, actually, we're so fragile and scared. 

I remember my English teacher at college telling me once that she'd read that society only worked because everyone was afraid of death. 

Ebola could wipe us out. All it would take would be a handful of infected people to travel round the world and spread the contamination. 

It's scary because mortality from Ebola is 90%, our medical knowledge doesn't span the length of finding us a cure and, in the end, we're just these tiny little people on a place called Earth. We're just a species. A species like the Dodo, that have no back up for extinction. 

Resourcefulness doesn't make us immortal. It's those moments when you watch the news or read the paper that make you think: there's nothing to stop this all caving in. 

Watching the World Go By

You never really have visions of travelling the world until you're standing still. 

As a day-dreamer and mindless thinker, it never takes long for my mind to wander. 

I'm lying in my nan's partner's garden, looking up at this: 

A massive fir tree brimming with pinecones and a sky flushed with wispy clouds. I could be anywhere.  With the sun, the warmth, looking up into a neutral evening sky. I could be anywhere. 

When I was younger, I always dreamed that I would travel. As I visioned my life as a warden on a nature reserve, I saw Khaled setting rhinos free in Africa. 

In your childhood, the world is your mind's oyster. When you're older, it really does become what you make of it: free to explore, free to use, free to exploit. And so, as I grew up, I became afraid of losing those childhood dreams. My mind would take me anywhere in an instant, and I'd be there. In the middle of a jungle, on a beach, in the Serengeti. One minute in my room, the next abroad. I soon began to realise that if anything I dreamed of was going to happen, I would have to make it: I'd have to plan, find the money, book the time off work. Moreover, (my current fear) I would need to find a job that would give me the flexibility of travel. 

Suddenly, talking to my nan, I had an overwhelming desire to travel. Tomorrow I take my flight home. And whilst I get through plates of food without a second thought, watch films with rapt attention, take toilet stops with only the thought that I'm wasting precious TV/ reading/ sudoku time and snooze freely without concern for my poor snoring, sleep talking and dribbling habits disturbing others, I will pass countless countries. One of which is India - my promised land. 

I once heard someone remark that England is figuratively seen to many as 'the promised land'. Jobs, housing, good quality of life and a relatively safe environment put it streaks ahead of other war torn and developing areas of the world. It gives, as the nickname may suggest, a lot of hope and promise. The vision I see of India is different. 

India had such a profound mental impact on my life. I developed my soul (I felt) and experienced something so vastly different. India is my promised land for the soul. 

As a 12 year old, if I had to pick the places that I'd love to visit, India would have been one, simply because of the sheer size and population. It's like China: I pick it as a place I want to visit because it's big on the map. It stands out. 

When I write my bucket list (and yes, I have to write it multiple times a year), travel comes up quite a lot. It usually reads: 

No. 483 - live in Australia

No. 484 - visit China

No. 485 - visit Japan

There are so many more corners of the globe that I want to see not just the big, almost continental countries. But the small places as well. 

So you might have guessed, I've made another little list. 

7 countries I just HAVE to visit: 

1. The Tioman Islands 

I had never heard about these islands before about a year ago. And since then, I haven't stopped seeing them on the Internet. 

My friend went one time and she was desperate to go back. She sold it to me and I looked at photos of boats that looked like try we're floating in mid-air, the water was so clear. There are turtle rescue service there and with limited access to Internet and public transport, it sounds like a haven for me to embark on some soul rejuvenation!! :D 

2. Borneo 

Now, this is an old one. All I've ever wanted to do, since I was young, was go to Borneo and see the orang-utans. 

As a wanna-be zookeeper, I couldn't think of anything better. But even though I've grown out of those dreams, I still had that wish engrained on my mind. 

Orang-utans are my favourites! 

3. Trinidad

There's no point knowing your roots if you don't make an attempt to engage with them. 

My mum's side of the family is from Trinidad and, although it was different when I was younger, I never had a burning desire to go. But now I realise how important it would be for me to go to my place of partial origin. 

4. Canada 

I think everywhere is Canada. When I see a picture of tall 'Christmas' trees or I see one, like the one in my nan's partner's garden, I think I'm in Canada. 

It makes me feel lovely and adventurous and I feel like I ought to go to see what it's actually like! 

5. Italy

Italia! Need I say more. The food, the people, the rides on the gondolas. And it's so close! It would be silly not to go.

6. Brazil

If the national language of Brazil was Spanish, I would already have booked my year abroad! 

I got into Brazil whilst watching An Idiot Abroad. The beaches look brilliant and the style of living even better. But it's more the dual vision that does it for me. 

I know that there's horrific poverty there, interspersed with scenes of luxury - much like India. 

It's one of those places that you can't be sure if until you go. So I'd better be off there! 

7. Australia

Well, I HAD to put this one in. Everyone wants to visit Australia, right?

Excuse me?!

The world, as we know it, is a beautiful place with beautiful places; the New Forest, Bali, Niagara Falls. It's full of unexplained occurrences and in a atmosphere that stretches to lengths unknown. And you'll find people; helpful, caring, generous. On some days of, particularly, high spirits, it is hard to fault our earth.

That is, until we become aware of awards like this:

The World's Ugliest Woman. What kind of disgusting world is this?!

When I saw this video posted on Facebook about Lizzie Valesquez, I was absolutely shocked. For one, she's most definitely not even ugly!

But immediately, after I'd thought that, I stepped back. 

Woah! Woah! Woah!

Why did I have a right to decide if anyone was ugly? If I was saying that Lizzie, I must have a concept of ugly and beautiful. There must be a pattern in my mind; a template or checklist, that needs to be fulfilled. Why was I even thinking like this? How could I, even if I didn't voice my opinions, have this schematic selection of a person based on looks. 

And, I guess, for all of us, it's the same. 

One of the things I like about the world is that (I believe) everyone has a soulmate. Someone who we're searching for. No one doesn't have one. If you never get married but you do want to, that's not a sign that you're not loved. It's just that you haven't been in the right place, at the right time. And so, when we find our soulmates, we realise that everyone has different perceptions of beautiful. 

I'm not going to be the only one to say (and I know this sounds awfully crude and horrible) that I've sometimes passed couples and thought;

He/ she's going out with them? 

And then I've quickly reverted back to my philosophy; everyone has different concepts of beautiful. 

And it's horrible! It's horrible that I can't help myself thinking these thoughts! But, with the reinforcement of the mantra; 'beauty is only skin deep', hopefully there will be a time where none of that superficial judgement will reside within me. 

It is for this reason, that I have a big aversion to beauty contests. I'll glance at the picture but will look no further into it. 

Miss Universe - how condescending! The woman who wins this title is meant to be the most beautiful lady in the whole world!! But, first of all, not everyone is going to find her attractive! It's just an affirmation of the image of the body that judges on the panel think we should all be aiming for. Thigh gaps, wavy brunette hair, pearly ocean white teeth. 

But what's even more aggravating is that the most beautiful woman in the world (if there is such a thing) may not have even entered the competition! She might be at home, with children to look after, a job, a voluntary placement. Maybe she doesn't have time to enter. And so, for all the money and publicity spent on the event, the winner might not even be the winner. 

Beauty is such a problem in the world! I often like to think, if we were given a separate sense that would aid our navigation - like super sensitive noses and hands that translated our designs into buildings - the world would be better off blind. 

For all the stick and horrible torture that Lizzie suffered from cyber bullies who put her name and face to the world's ugliest caption, she has come out strong. She has been able to reach out to people and educate them about beauty. She is a true inspiration to all.

I've just attached this video below if you're interested in finding out more about Lizzie. This is the video that I watched when I first heard about Lizzie.

Please enjoy and take on the words of wisdom that she has to offer :D