Parasite

As Liberia declares a state of emergency, for me, the Ebola outbreak is just the scariest thing in the news right now. It's like an apocalypse but real.

Humans are the only species in the animal kingdom capable of massacre and incredible destruction. We chop rainforests down, we take ocean predators and stick them in cages, we shoot down our own neighbours. 

And yet, we're so defenseless. We're like the bullies of the world making ourselves big and mighty and powerful because, actually, we're so fragile and scared. 

I remember my English teacher at college telling me once that she'd read that society only worked because everyone was afraid of death. 

Ebola could wipe us out. All it would take would be a handful of infected people to travel round the world and spread the contamination. 

It's scary because mortality from Ebola is 90%, our medical knowledge doesn't span the length of finding us a cure and, in the end, we're just these tiny little people on a place called Earth. We're just a species. A species like the Dodo, that have no back up for extinction. 

Resourcefulness doesn't make us immortal. It's those moments when you watch the news or read the paper that make you think: there's nothing to stop this all caving in. 

Preparing for uni

I've learnt, university doesn't have to be daunting. Undoubtedly, they will be the best years of your life, everyone says - its a theory I've yet to try. 

When I started year 13 this year I didn't want to begin. As far as I was concerned it was the beginning of the end. Everything if ever known about life was about to change. I was about to be exposed to another side of it. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE surprises. But this surprise want something I wanted to deal with. I know how to cook - so that's fine - and I'm more than OK navigating the bus route - but give me any other map and I'm as useful as a broken compass. 

What's the problem? I kept asking myself. It was an answer I couldn't give. I didn't even know if there was an answer. 

I mulled on the prospect.

I tried to convince myself; 

Everyone does it. Lie number one. 

Your parents aren't far away. Lie number two (my parents live in Dubai - 7 hours from England).

This is what you've always been waiting for. Lie number three. 

This definitely wasn't what I had been waiting for. Whenever I thought of my life I kind of skipped uni out. I knew I would go but when I thought of getting older I thought of getting a job, being a mum and wife. Them being a grandma. Life races ahead of me and, although I always assumed I would have a degree under my belt, getting it was never something I'd ever thought about. 

Then here I was; 17 and in my last year of college, with university in the horizon. 

How daunting! 

After a while though, I came to terms with it. 

This is your life, I thought. You can't chill with mum and dad forever. You need this. 

True - I still have those wobbly days when I don't want to go. But they pass and I try my hardest not to bring them up. 

The most important thing I need to go into university with is an optimistic mind. 

So I've started having fun: planning my room design, buying tools - maybe not your idea of fun. But it took my mind away from the day I leave the sand and trade it in for concrete. 

One of the tasks I've been waiting to do since I started packing is create a photo collage. And now I've finally got it done. 

I imagine it will be very useful. Reminding me of where I've been and how I've come may one day help me write those essays and complete the degree. 

Things are looking up and I can't wait. Especially as I've found out that they have a cake decorating society!!! Who ate all the pies?