"What have you done to-day to make you feeeeeeeel proud"

It's so easy to say: "WOAH! That was so inspiring!" but it's so much harder to act upon it.

I heard about Stephen's Story a few days before my 19th birthday in April. I clicked on his page and saw a pioneer - someone who was desperate to live life, to help others and have fun whilst doing it.

I began to read profusely about him, typing his name into Google and finding everything about who this incredible teenager was. What I saw written on various webpages was that he was a 19 year old with incurable cancer. What I read in my mind that he was the same age as me.

This birthday, I did something I've never done before. Every birthday, after presents and cake and, sometimes, a party my birthday is over. That's it and life just goes on. Birthdays are just markers: a day in the year to break up the routine of life. A day when I can tell myself that I can eat absolutely anything I want in any quantity I desire.

But this year, as I turned 19 on my own at midnight, I decided to be different. The story of Stephen Sutton was in the back of my mind and I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 20 and was officially not a teenager anymore.

It made this birthday, more than any other, feel so special and I got into the habit of telling myself: "If this was your last day on earth would you feel like it was a good end? Would you leave with no regrets?" and words to this effect:

It was a little bit morbid at first, as though at any moment or any morning I could wake up and it might be my last. But it was the most motivating thing for me. 

I started doing little things: like making sure that I met up with friends at every opportunity, and started planning for bigger things: like my first 5k run. 

I began desiring for new experience and grabbing everything I had the opportunity to. A few weeks ago, I became the Recruitment and Outreach Officer for our university RAG society with exactly that same mentality. If I had the opportunity to run for something and make a difference, now was the time to do it. 

And low and behold, I was successful!

But what was most important for me was that I not only looked to the future, but remembered what I had already done. I didn't just want to have plans to do things and then when they were done, they were done. I wanted to have something to hold onto. I wanted to know what I'd already achieved and how I could build on them so that, even if I didn't achieve the things on my list that I'd planned, I still knew that I'd been somewhere. 

And for all of this there was no inspiration quite like that of Stephen Sutton's story and his optimism. When I read the update that his mum put on the page this morning, I cried. There was such a rich emotion attached to Stephen that was felt by everyone. I felt like mountains had been moved and everyone had this drive to support what Stephen did and what we were all doing by donating and raising awareness for the Teenage Cancer Trust. 

For me, knowing about Stephen gave me a kick, to do things that were new to me and things I'd always been meaning to do. To take more of those experiences and to love life even more! 

Do more, love more, be more! 

Father Figure

As he died, the gravity of Nelson Mandela's legacy was predictable. A human saviour. An embodiment of freedom. An aspiration. A dreamer. Of course, everyone was going to go crazy.

People take to the streets praising his revolution. The media settles in for weeks on end of analysis on his life and how we might take lessons from his teachings. And un-involved worldly populations, well, we just sit in the dark.

For South Africa, Mandela was a father of a nation and I came across an article which said that if the world had only one father, the suitable candidate for the role and bearer of the title would be the late Nelson Mandela. It is most probably true. A man who gave so much hope has left us. Alone. Perhaps he is above in Heaven, for those who believe. Or reincarnated, for those who think otherwise. But Nelson Mandela is no longer on this earth.

I think, subconsciously, I took comfort from that fact that he was always with us. In death, at least I could wake up in the morning knowing that there was at least one man on this earth who was courageous to stand up for everyone. Someone who would protect us all. And suddenly, we find that we are fighting for ourselves. Who will save us now? Who would stand up for us if something happened tomorrow? Our only current hope, has gone.

And now, if they choose, new people will become. New leaders with the same effect will take to the stands. Or will they?

We are so reliant on those who've already done. Those who've already become. We hardly ever think that they time will come when we must learn to be. When we must learn to do.

I suppose, in this immediate instance, we are vulnerable. We haven't got someone to hold our hand now. He's held it all this time. It's time for someone else to stand. Someone else to hold out their hand for others to take.

It's bizarre, how deep the sense of loss seems. His effect was undeniable. His lessons uncountable. But who will teach us next?  

The Riddler

Every story is biased. Perspective on narrative can make you live one tale, one life, a thousand times over. Our human need and desperation to tell stories in our day to day life is impulsive.

Yes, it's day one at Uni and, despite being late to the first 9am lecture, this is what I've learned. Pretty inspiring stuff! In fact, I was very motivated by this. My lecturer for my Narrative and Cultural Identity in the Hispanic World module has linked, unknowingly, to purpose of his introductory lecture very nicely with my own slogan of this blog.

Turning old pages, reading new words (the name of my blog) has a couple of conceptual meanings. Basically, what I'm getting at is that we all live life. Fact. But how you live your life is different to how I live mine and not simply because we are living different lives with different goals. If I put myself in your life and you put yourself in mine, you still wouldn't live the my life. You would, physically, live mine, but spiritually you wouldn't. Your take on things would be completely different. Whether you met a cloudy day with apprehension and anxiety or whether you met it with thick coats and wellies would determine how differently that one day would take form. Perspective can make you live your life a thousand times over. 

History is a classic take on the modern story. I absolutely love reading and writing. History employs the same skills. Those who dictate history have formulated the way in which it was told. Take the Titanic. Would history be different if a polar bear had told that story? If human were polar bears? Because, essentially, through global warming we are killing polar bears like humans off the Titanic. Granted; it was a horrible tragedy, there's no denying it. But, would it have been as shocking, as detrimental, as spirit changing if it had been 1,500 polar bears that had drowned off a floating breeze block of ice that had melted due to climate change induced by humans? Maybe. Would we have know about it? And if we hadn't, would we still be hanging on to the old cliche of 'just the tip of the iceberg'? Every story is biased. 

dailymail.co.uk

If I told you about me in a verbal diarrhea form of biography, there would be things I wouldn't tell you because I wouldn't want you to know. There are things I would forget to tell you, because I wouldn't think that you needed you to know. And there would be things I would make better. Those would be the type of things I would want you to remember. And, whether you're willing to accept it or not, you would do the same. But whatever I did or didn't tell you, if asked, I would reel of some sort of cabaret.
"It's not that interesting but..." Storytelling is as much an impulse as those functions we can't control. 

And like that above, this whole post is an impulse. I needed to write, to share something pointless but hopefully enjoyable to tame the genuine inspiration I've been feeling today. If all my seminars are like this, bring on the next four years!