How I learned to love to be single

For all my life, in terms of relationships, it's just been me, myself and I. I just fancied writing about something that, maybe, everyone feels like they have to do. I know that I've felt slightly abnormal because I haven't followed the 'conventions of teenage-hood', as it were. But I guess I haven't found the right person. In fact, the more and more I think about it, it seems like I might be happier, single. I don't want this post to later be hypocritical. What I write today is jut how I feel now. (Also, this is aimed at no one in particular, but just my general experience :D) 

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Growing up, I think much of my school life revolved around who was going out with who. It was like trivia: Guess who's going out with ___?!" 

It was always quite exciting to find out but more so to see how long people could keep the girlfriend and boyfriend status up. 

As we moved from little year 7s to year 10s and 11s, relationships began to last longer than a matter of weeks that you could count on your right hand. 

Love was now real. 

I wasn't ready for a boyfriend in year 7. In fact, I was still playing with Barbie's when I got home after school. But, low and behold, that was the last time I ever had a 'boyfriend'. I say boyfriend like this because, even thought we said we were on a relationship, we most probably weren't. 

I hated being social outside of school and so cinema dates and going to each others houses was a no-go. We simply saw each other in school. But even then, it wasn't love so much as it was experimental. 

But still, for all my false delusions about love, I still wanted to have someone. 

Every new school year I thought: this will be it. But every year I ended, I was still single.

It was finally at university when I realised how important it was to have your own time. I saw people every day. When I cooked dinner. I heard them as I went to bed. I bumped into everyone, everywhere. 

Though the social side of things has really helped me and is something that I really love about uni, I did still need my free time. 

I found a few spare moments to blog. But I hardly ever had time to read for pleasure nor work on writing stories. There was always something to be done and if I rejected social meetings in order to spend time with me, myself and I on a hobby, I felt anti-social.

I missed the time I had to myself. To do nothing or, conversely, work on something extra-ordinary. 

I also began to work out that being in love with someone was an incredibly emotional and time-consuming thing! (It also ate most of your credit and got you to watch films that you wouldn't normally watch, with food that you wouldn't normally have bought). 

Having a boyfriend was all-encompassing. You had to think for not only 1 person but 2. 

Maybe that's because I'm selfish in that respect, or maybe because I just don't know enough but there are some things I love about being un-romantically-attached. 

- I can eat what I want by the call of my stomach 

- I spend more time with my friends 

- I can get a cheap phone tariff 

- I can choose to see family or go on trips at the drop of a hat 

- I can spend more money on my family's presents at Christmas 

- it's ok to spend all my holiday in Dubai 

Maybe things will change as I get older, but sometimes there are people who ask: 'is there anyone you like?' Or who say: 'He'd be good boyfriend material.' But to both statements I would have to answer 'no' and 'maybe' and as for why: 'because I just like it this way.' 

Sparks to Flames

To say that I was apprehensive about seeing a good friend of mine play a gig with his band would be, not only, rude but wholly and entirely untrue. The thought of it was so exciting and novel! :D

The word 'Flashfires' a few months ago would have drawn images of Australia. Of wild fires, destruction and fear. But now I've come to realise it as a synonym of musical expression, passion and sheer, sheer talent.

I'd heard Flashfires new single on the day of it's release anticipating that it would be good, but perhaps not as good and professional as it turned out. On the 5th May I searched for 'Circus Boy' (their debut single) on Spotify! To be truthful, I'm addicted to Spotify. How practically every song recorded is all in the same place baffles me more than it should. And so, when I found Flashfires there was this sense that the band was already going places. One does not simply just appear on Spotify! 

I'd heard their single multiple times and on repeat a few moments before I was to leave the flat and off to my first ever Flashfires gig! 

The venue was only small and, as of 8pm, not yet full with sweaty men and women in leather jackets and dressed to the nines in black. The boys seemed rather relaxed and it was so nice to get to know them on a personal level as people before musicians. 

But it wasn't long (since I arrived late! - surprise, surprise) that they were off; earplugs in, guitars tuned and (for Fraser) glasses on.

I hadn't heard any of their material before. But on the basis of 'Circus Boy', if their music was anything like that single, it was going to be a good night. 

And it was! Their set was bloody fantastic!! Absolutely amazing and I couldn't believe it. I had a clear idea that they were going to be good but as good as they were? I couldn't imagine! 

And I was amazed; not only by their musical talent but by the fact that they were so incredibly modest for the amount of talent that they had. I would be raving about it to everyone if it was me. But the band seemed content with what they had. Nevertheless, I just couldn't help wondering why everyone isn't on Flashfires??!! Why aren't there millions of repeated mouse clicks on the tune on Spotify? Or repeated downloads on iTunes? They're fantastic! And the energy of lead singer: Alex Gonzato, is unprecedented!! 

Now let's just stay with him for a minute. Of course, what comes with hanging around with a group of your best friends for over 4 years is a whole host of jokes that can't be explained to the 'outside' world and a few nicknames which can be explained to practically anyone. For Alex, his nickname: Gonzo, was simply a contraction of his surname; Gonzato. But what it meant was something so personal and true - or so bandmate Fraser tells me. 

Ever heard of the word 'Gonzo'? Nope, me neither. But you WILL actually find it in the dictionary. It means eccentric which most definitely defines Alex and his performing style.

I had such an amazing time last night and could only describe the event to myself in a string of expletives followed by the word "brilliant". 

They played my personal favourite at the start: 'Manshark' (the demo video of which you can find here) along with their debut single: 'Circus Boy' and a load of great songs in between. 

Suffice to say, I was bawled over by their performance and I cannot recommend them more! Everything about these guys suggest that they're onto a winner and I would urge EVERYONE to do their best to make it to one of their gigs. They were brilliant. Absolutely brilliant! 

Please please please take a look below. There's a list of their upcoming tour dates and I would thoroughly recommend you sticking the dates in your diary. These guys need your support and ought to feature on any and all music devices that you and everyone you know own! Please give them your time; hit 'follow' on Spotify, 'download' on Amazon and iTunes and 'play' on YouTube.

Honestly, they won't let you down.


(MANSHARK - FLASHFIRES)