The Happy Place

When people say 'find your happy place' they usually refer to 2 things. Occasionally it's used as a joke - a wind up for an aggravated person. But more often than not, it refers to a state of mind. A place of complete serenity where worries and stress no longer jar your every thought.

So it never really occurred to me that you might actually be able to find your happy place ... And go to visit. 

The other day I read a post on a blog I follow called Absolutely Lucy. It was all about how she remained happy and about finding your happy place. She said a 'happy place' is a place that you've been to which holds some fundamental importance for you. Your 'happy place' could be a park, a beach, a house. Anything that makes you happy and holds happy memories. It's so simple and I don't know why it never occurred to me before. 

I was having a bit of a dip earlier on last week when I happened to read Lucy's post. I began to wonder about my happy place because I needed to get there. It's hard to start to think of somewhere happy when you're not in the mood. But I still tried. 

Lucy's happy place was an island off Malta called Comino. I went there with my family some years back too so I retraced the holiday through my mind, remembering the beautiful turquoise of sea and the spare rocky expanse. We had literally just been dropped off the boat on a baron land in the sea. I remember worrying that the boat would not come back to collect us and that we were sold our death in the package of a 'pleasant day trip to a popular tourist island'. 

It was a good holiday, but this wasn't my happy place. I went through the catalogue of my other recent holidays. This year we went to Borneo - it was my childhood dream come true and, even though it ticked off number 1 of my bucket list, this still wasn't my happy place. Not because I was ungrateful or because I didn't have an amazing time but because the time we spent on the island was so jam packed that there wasn't a lot of thinking time. 

Thinking time. Where had I had a lot pf that recently? Then I found it. My happy place. An island near Bali: Lombok.

We've been there 2 years in a row now to the same hotel. It's an absolutely beautiful place. It's set right on the beach with its own infinity pool that looks out onto the sun setting behind the mountains of Bali. The water is clear and pickled with colourful tropical fish. When you walk the length of the beach: a walk that takes a leisurely 15 minutes, you get to a bend where large boulders block your entrance. The waves crash over these boulders as though trying to break them and there are fish that stick themselves to the rocks and advance with each breaking wave. 

This year, we sat atop these rocks and meditated: a method that James had learnt from his recent trip to Cambodia. We sat and tried to clear our minds. We thought of nothing and listened. There were no people on this stretch of the beach. It was ours. 

Thinking about this place; remembering the warmth of the sun, the stillness of the sound, the erratic push of the sea, the sticky smell of salt, puts a smile on my face. This was the place that immediately took me away from my low spell and gave me drive and motivation. I clung onto a menory that I loved. Something that I wanted to repeat. 

I remember visiting those rocks a couple of times over the weeks and coming with pen and paper. I wrote poems, I wrote feelings, I wrote prose. It worked wonders for my creativity. 

In the light of reflecting upon that holiday, I now have a new determination. Something I've wanted to do for ages was travel, especially travelling solo. Lombok is my happy place, but I wonder how many more happy places there are out there. It is my plan to start out to find my happiest place on earth! Perhaps a bi ambitious, yes, but there's no time for ambition like when you're alive! 

Fly Me To Anywhere But The Moon!

There are very few things that you can want when you unofficially convert to the Buddhist way of life, but I still allowed my burning hunger to visit Borneo to gnaw at my imagination. There was never a place that I could remember being more desperate to go. It was always Borneo.

Last year, we planned to go to Borneo but the dates of travel among other things, meant that it didn't work out. Though I was desperate to go that year, I realised that I was still young enough to realise that dream in the future - you're never too old to grab something if you really really want it. But, I was lucky enough to go this year with my family!

There are very few experiences that can compare to a trip of a life time and I'll have a hard time matching anything to this!

Words fail me, on this occasion. It's hard to relive an experience through words when you're so far away and looking out at a vast expanse of sand in 45 degree heat. So, I've decided to compile a few of my favourite photos.

Borneo: Top Right: Sandakan, Bottom Left: 'The White House', Bottom Right: Mount Kinabalu

The rainforest just provides everything!

SOME OF THE BEST PHOTOS I'VE EVER TAKEN - THE ORANGUTANS!! :D

Mount Kinabalu 8km trek! I was so glad to reach the end! 

The relax in Lombok! 

Malaysia: 

Sums it up quite nicely! Ahaha

KL Tower

I love places like this (^) for the simple pleasure of how much they creep me out! 

Hindu place of worship

China Town Night Market

And this ... 

It's my sole favourite photo of the entire trip! It was worth every moment that I spent waiting and dreaming as a child, just to see an orangutan look me in the eye! :D 

In with the crowd

I've always held such respect for the commuters of London. How one might navigate the underground amongst the pull and tore of the trains and jolts of fellow passengers without their daddy's hand to hold was always something that baffled me. Could a transport network be more complicated? It took me until the age of 15 to understand the local bus system which involved just one change at the central station. 

As I left secondary for sixth form, my classmates were commuting by train everyday to their colleges. So unknown to me was this method of travel that I was constantly petrified of  having to return to England and visit family. Yet, when I arrived at uni, I came with a new sense of independence, maturity and courage. Armed with a debit card that would ensure that in my immediate needs I would never run short of cash on a journey, without my parents own anxiety in my mind and with the determination to be confident and outgoing, I began to anticipate the journeys I would take over the coming year with great excitement. 

I'm a novice on the train. In the past 2 years I've travelled only twice an just once was alone. 

But anxiety deserted me as I left my halls for Clapham this morning. Taking pride in step and with a bubbling excitement of finally being in an ACTUAL house sent me on my way. I had had an idea of what I was going to pack at least a week in advance and with 2 days to go, I was already packed. 

I felt a maternal instinct towards my room. There was so much I needed to do. I took the example from my parents. I locked the window, drew the curtains, turned off the radiator, took out the bins, changed the towels and tidied my whole room. In the warm orange light as I lay to sleep at 11:45pm, I felt proud. Finally, I had a responsibility that was entirely mine. I had a duty to fulfil that wouldn't leave me penalised if I didn't do it. Instead it would teach me something I shouldn't forget next time. 

I went to church that morning, feeling the glee of self pride. I was looking after myself. Doing all the things I'd longed and planned to whilst anticipating my return to England from Dubai. I was being independent. But most importantly I was establishing me - I was being someone without boundaries. 

And so I jumped on the bus at 12pm from Southampton to Eastleigh. I caught the train from Eastleigh to Waterloo, Waterloo to Euston, Euston back up to St Pancras and, finally, St Pancras to Bedford. And I knew it was partly a service at Church that morning and the knowledge that home was a 3,000 mile flight away had led me to do it. To remove the apprehension and take the journey. 

And I have done it. I've commuted the underground with less than 2 grunts of sudden one second panic. I've made my way into London, been through it and got myself out the other side in under 4 hours. As sad as it sounds, I don't think I've ever felt so pleased with myself :D