So, to the envy of many, as a humanities student my first year at uni is over! I can't believe it's gone so fast and yet ...
I've achieved quite a lot as a person I think, without really having to try. And that had been the beauty of uni to me. Of course, a nice First is still out of my sights, but a sparkly certificate with how well I can remember things and write them done as a judge of how intellectual I am was never, and is never going to be, my objective. It's all the added bonus'. It's the gifts I received that have surprised me and all the little things in between.
If you've followed this blog for a while, you'll know that I'm a fan of lists. One of my best friends actually bought me a little journal for my 19th this year and I use it to write down all my to-do lists like bucket lists, summer plans and books I want to read before I die. I'm forever adding to it and taking far far longer to actually tick things off. But that'll come.
So here's another one of my lists; 14 things I never thought would happen to me at uni.
1. I never thought that I would stop crying
Uni is a horrible emotional roller coaster. I'm not a hard and unfeeling person. I can sometimes get quite worked up about little things. But, until recently, I've always found it hard to cry. It sounds silly. But when I left England to move to Dubai my tear shed was minimal. I said good-bye to my friends without a feeling of remorse. Arguably that could be due to the fact that I was more excited about living in another country than leaving the one I was in. But I didn't feel anything. There were times where I wondered if God had forgotten to put a sense of feeling in me.
He hadn't because when I moved to uni, crying was literally the only thing I did. I cried saying goodbye to my parents. On the plane. At my nan's. On Skype. When I opened my emails. Chopping lettuce. Before bed. In bed. In the morning.
I went from the girl who had no tears to the girl who had too many.
After a while I didn't want to be sad anymore. I just wanted to live my life and I did wonder if I would be sad forever. Of course, I'm not. When people tell me that I'm happy, it's the best feeling in the world.
And it's amazing for me to have come out of that horribly sad stage. I feel renewed by all the tears I've cried and rejuvenated by the fact that I've left that sadness behind and 100% turned the situation around.
2. I never thought I would be at uni.
I think uni is one of those life events that you accept. You think, when you're younger, about going to uni, getting a job, getting married and having a family. You plan these things without ever really being able to hold onto the fact that they WILL happen. When you're young they're a long way off but all too suddenly they're upon you and you can't see yourself becoming or going where you thought you would.
When I was younger (even up to a few years ago) on Christmas Eve, every year, I thought that I was going to die. I got so excited for Christmas and couldn't anticipate what the day would be like. I thought that because I couldn't imagine the next day, I wasn't going to wake up and be part of it.
That's probably the best way to describe how I felt at uni. I didn't know what it would be like so I could never imagine me going.
But I'm here and alive and I've made it! Something I never thought I would do: done!
3. I never thought I would have a job.
My job means the world to me. I absolutely LOVE it. I didn't really think retail was for me. When I thought about which out of the 500 job applications I'd sent out over the few months I'd been applying, I thought I'd become a waitress working in a coffee shop. Instead I work with clothes!
To tell the truth, I don't actually remember applying for my job. But thankfully I know I did, because they were the only people to offer me a job.
Getting to grips with things at first was hard. And there are still things I get wrong - like the tills! But I absolutely love what I do and that's made all the better by the people that surround me.
It's really the people I work with that make Sunday shifts so enjoyable. I feel like I'm part of something special and they're just another group of fantastic people that I get to talk to and get to know.
It's fab and I honestly didn't think that I would end up where I did. When you get multiple rejections from KFC, it can make you feel pretty useless but I am so grateful for the job I've been able to secure :D
4. I never thought I would buy a gym membership.
Of course, exercise is not for me. Food, food, food and more food makes up my life and working off those calories is a big ask. I didn't think I would buy a gym membership let alone one at £140! I had better things to spend that money on - like books. But I conformed and found myself slightly out of pocket and with a will to get my money's worth.
To be fair, I have used the gym a bit but it probably equates to about £20 a visit. I've been into the gym once - toned brunettes and muscular weight lifting guys kind of puts you off when your a complete novice at the treadmill.
But the swimming pool had my undivided attention for a few weeks as did the exercise classes (until I got fined for missing a week). It's been a good thing to have in my purse but as to whether I but one next year ... well, we'll have to wait and see!!
5. I never thought that I would join the Christian Union.
At the start of Uni I suppose that I was very prejudiced, though I wouldn't have believed you if that's what you would have told me.
Developing my faith was one of my big 'things to do' at uni and I did. But I didn't do it at uni. I started going to church and helping at their community events. The Christians I knew at uni always seemed too good when I compared them to me. Most of my church was a bit older than me and I felt less intimidated when I didn't know things. I wanted to be a Christian and not feel guilty about never being 'good enough'.
But little by little I found myself going to Christian Union events. I attended an ALPHA course which helped me find God and realise that He never actually left. And on the course and on our trip to the New Forest I realised how lovely, genuine, caring and fun these people actually were.
I began going to the weekly worship sessions and wanting to go out with them. I never thought I would.
At the start I believed that my faith was for me but I sooner realised that the more I shared it the stronger I became.
I wasn't worried about what I believed and never worried about sharing it with others. That was just the kind of behaviour that made it blossom.
6. I never thought that a group of people that I had never met would vote for me to become the Recruitment and Outreach officer within our RAG society.
This one's pretty self-explanatory but I was so so so shocked that I was chosen for this role. The 2 people I was up against seemed so keen and dedicated to the charity that I felt ashamed to even be standing up and being considered. But as they called my name, I was elated!
As a Recruitment and Outreach officer, I am in charge of the volunteers, the emails and the blog which I am absolutely buzzing for!!! Roll on year 2 (after a few months rest, at least)
7. I never thought that I would get back on a bike.
You never forget how to ride a bike, right? Apart from when you do!
I was so excited to get my nan's old bike to use for uni. It meant that I would be getting fit whilst going places and I hoped to explore the far reaches of Southampton and even make it to the New Forest.
Well... that didn't happen.
I collected my bike from my nan's, free-wheeled down the hill to the ferry and got scared. I walked it onto the ferry and off and walked it all the way home. I locked it up and didn't touch it for a week when I took it out once more and nearly fell off. The brakes couldn't be used independently and I felt embarrassed with the creaky saddle round uni and soon lost confidence in it.
But I never gave up, and a few weeks later after eyeing it in the shed, I got it out and began cycling to places - to the shops - or just to the common to give it a whirl. I began to love it! I loved cycling and taking a picnic and just going for it. Everything was so close when I had my old bike.
Yes, it did squeak and the brakes took some getting used to but, besides all that, it was perfect.
Until one day I rode it into the common and with a clunk the gears gave way. I phoned my nan, fixing my bike in the process and got back on the road only for me to change the gears again and for it to clunk out of sync.
I walked it all the way home.
And that's where it sits now. In the hall shed waiting for me to get my bum around to fixing it and parting with cash in doing so.
8. I never thought I would fly home alone at the age of 18.
I've been on my fair few share of flights. I've been on a plane at least once nearly every one of my 19 years and so I knew that with this kind of travel, the world is your oyster.
But what made me wonder that there was something more to flying than I first thought was that everyone always got so stressed about flying.
Do we have passports? Coats? Have we taken care of the dog? Are all the windows shut?
And so on and so forth. So when it was my turn to fly on my own, I expected it to be harder than it actually was. Airports work almost like clockwork if you're not looking to get onto a connecting flight and don't have a suspicious air about you.
I definitely didn't think that I would fly somewhere on my own at the age of 18 but it wasn't even that bad!
9. I never thought I would go out.
So I'm not the 'cool' girl. I never have been. Always, in some hole at the back of my mind, there was this knowledge that if you drank alcohol you were popular or cool.
Remember those parties, maybe you got invited to them - those ones where everyone sits around and drinks underage. Where there's so many people you don't even know and just for that reason you know that you're in the 'in' crowd.
At uni, that changes. If you drink, you fulfil the student stereotype. Equally, if you don't that also very acceptable.
I found that I slotted, rather bizarrely, into the first category (at uni, at least) and I was soon going out 3 times a week and consuming much more alcohol than was recommended and sleeping more hours as a result.
It was only when I realised that everyone else had somewhat toned down and that I need to get higher grades that I took off my party hat and limited it to just 1 day a week! I began to crave Fridays like chocolate!
10. I never thought that I would voluntarily give up meat.
I became a vegan out of conscience before I became one for health reasons.
After Easter, I voluntarily gave up meat, eggs, cheese and milk and embarked on a quest to see what I could do with multiple cans of beans, bread and pasta.
I actually realised that being a vegan wasn't all that hard. It was just a case of adapting old recipes to things that didn't contain dairy or meat or eggs.
But the concept seems so much harder. Especially when recipe books throw beans at you left, right and center. NO! I DON'T WANT ANY MORE BEANS!!
11. I never thought that I would be single.
Seems a bit vain to include this one on the list, but that's not the way I mean it at all.
Everyone tells you that you'll meet your soul mate at uni, but what if they're just not there?
I had hopes that I would find someone and I went through a couple of phases but in the end, it's still just me and I'm probably better for it. I don't think I'm ready for anyone else in my life! I can barely manage myself!
12. I never thought that I would share.
Sharing's not really my thing. I understand why someone would do it but why would I want to give someone half my packet of chocolate when I could finish the whole thing myself.
Well, this was one of the first things I learnt about uni. It was probably the most important thing to learn. When I began to share food with people and pay halves for things, I began to get less materialistic. I stopped worrying about money and what I was spending and instead, I realised that money was meant to be spent and it felt even better to share it with friends!
13. I never thought I would sign a tenancy agreement to rent a house
Signing a tenancy agreement this year for our house in Year 2 made me feel so grown up! And it was a bit unbelievable! It felt like we could afford a house (though we couldn't) and that it the height of adultness.
But it didn't make me grow up as much as I liked to think. I still don't know what a mortage is and why anyone has one.
(You can read about that very day here ---> http://turningoldpages.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/im-grown-up.html?q=grown)
14. I never thought that I would love my course as much as I do.
I still remember the first time that I realised I would have to do work at Uni. My first piece of homework. I sat at my desk.
How to approach this?
I cleared space and set out my pens. I was methodical and cautious about starting since after a 3 month long summer, I knew that I wouldn't be able to rest once I started work again.
And it was true. Despite not having that many hours on my timetable, reading a book a week for English was tough and getting into a routine of practicing my Spanish and keep the level up was even more daunting.
But through it all I have absolutely loved my course. I've learnt, if anything, so many things about life! Theories. How some things in this world exist. How others don't. And how our relations are constructed.
And yes, I am doing English and Spanish.
I've thoroughly enjoy this year and I can't explain how excited I am for next year and the modules I've picked!
But enough of that now, it's time to put uni to the back of my mind. Harry Potter's calling! :D
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