Cake depression and VEGAN no-bake brownies!!

Yes, I was this close to sinking into an eternal abyss of cake depression. It seems a year of hardly baking has rendered my hands useless and I had lost nearly all my talent to produce, not elegant, but EDIBLE cakes.

I've had multiple cake disasters over the past few weeks, passing up food that looks hardly appetising and disappoints the taste buds. I had one more shot today at baking something that I normally wouldn't and, if this didn't work, I was throwing in the apron, oven mits and cupcake cases for good.

So thank goodness it worked.

Trawling the internet for 'miracle' foods, I stumbled upon a recipe for 'Vegan No Bake Brownies' which comes from www.fitsugar.com

These delicious morsels include some of my favourite things, including a particular indulgence of mine: dates!

(I've slightly adapted this recipe, due to a lack of applesauce.)

Vegan No-Bake Brownies (Cuts into 20)

1. Peel a medium sized pear and dice

2. Place in a heat-proof bowl in the microwave with 1 tsp water and cook for 1 minute

3. Remove from the microwave, mash with a fork, set aside and leave to cool

4. Blend 2 cups of oats with 1 cup of unsalted cashews, 8 fresh and de-stoned dates, 1/3 cup cocoa powder and 1/4 tsp salt in a food processor. The mixture should be fine and resemble a flour-y consistency

5. Slice a large, ripe banana and add to the food processor

6. Measure out 1/4 cup of the stewed pear mixture and add to the food processor (you will not need the pear again)

7. Blend in the food processor until the mixture becomes a dough-like consistency (it should be moist and stick together slightly)

8. Add 1 tbsp vegetable oil (and more if required until the mixture sticks together)

9. Oil a square metal dish and put the dough inside, pushing the mixture flat with your knuckles or the back of a spoon

10. When it is leveled, push 5 broken walnut halves into the mixture

11. Chill for at least 1 hour in the fridge

TOP TIP: Store in the fridge until you wish to consume

Super test of the imagination!

Recently, I've been very involved in writing. I've always loved creative writing and stories have made my life, from the nights that mum read us bedtime stories to writing my own to my 'boyfriend' in year 3 on Valentine's day.

As I went through my teenage years, I lost my love of writing. Reading was a chore and I tried to focus myself on attaining more superficial goals, acting and being amazingly brilliant at something that no one else was.

It failed miserably and I began to feel useless ... until A-level English when I got a considerably high mark in my creative writing coursework. From then on I poured all my energy into harnessing my creative writing talent. Writing, like every hobby, is like family; no matter how much you love them, there are always those days when they get a little bit annoying.

So, whilst studying I was on a bit of a break from writing. I did it casually and sporadically knowing that one day I would get back into it.

As summer rolled in, I begun to have more free time and so more opportunity to focus on what I wanted to do, not what anyone else wanted or required of me. I wrote a short novella (my third). I was happy with it once I began writing but the conclusion and overall development let me down.

I realised that there was no point just trying to churn out stories to say that I'd done it. If I was ever going to write a full length novel, I was going to do it properly. And that's when I enrolled on a 3 day creative writing course outlining the basics of novel-writing.

Before I took the course, I had always been quite stubborn. I didn't want to read books about other people telling you how to write books. I didn't want to read about how to write. I just wanted to write.

But, the course was actually a really productive and inspiring thing for me and I thoroughly recommend anyone to take it if you are interested. There was so much 'homework' that really got your creativity flowing and kept my imagination ticking over - but don't let that dissuade you.

I started to search for my own tasks to do in my spare time. And here's where I hit a dead end.

For all the vast expanse of the internet, it seems inconceivable that you are unable to find something that you are looking for. The internet is a compilation of a billion thoughts from more than a million people's minds and yet I couldn't find the one thing that was at the forefront of mine: writing prompts. 

Maybe it's because I lack the vocabulary to explain to Google the contents of my mind, but I searched for days looking for suitable material. Everything was either aimed at primary school children or seemed a little too 'basic'.

I did however, find some gems, but there wasn't enough to supplement my daily challenge of completing a writing prompt. So I've come up with my own and I thought that it would be interesting to share them with you. Let me know how you get on if you decide to give them a try. I'll be trying them over the next few weeks.

It's probably worth saying that this list is nowhere near complete and I rustled it up within the past 20 minutes but I'll (hopefully) be adding to it as time goes on.

Here's my 'Super Test of the Imagination' 

1. What does 'sondungurous' mean?
2. Your favourite food has just died: write a tribute for publication in a regional magazine
3. Design and describe a flag that symbolises yourself
4. Describe the taste of water
5. Where did the duck-billed platypus come from? 
6. Describe the concept of heavy
7. When is a leaf not a leaf? 
8. Explain 3 alternative uses for mashed potato
9. Explain to an alien the concept of 'right' without using the word 'left' 
10. Design and describe a new item of clothing which embodies the words: 'empty', 'eighteen' and 'egg'. What is this item of clothing used for?
11. How many elephants would it take to butter a piece of toast? Why? 
12. Your friend tells you: 'I have come from an apocalyptic time to tell you that the world will be taken over ... by robotic sausages." And you reply ... (Write for 10 minutes) 

There you go! So that's 12 prompts to get you (and me) started!

Why I'm one of the luckiest people in the world

At the moment I can't get over how lucky I have been and how grateful I am. But I guess you should never 'get over' feeling grateful or lucky, so maybe that's not the right word. But there are so many aspects in my life that have just made me think: this doesn't need to get any better.

I guess it's tempting the devil to say that nothing could go wrong but I feel so so so lucky. 

Why? 

10 reasons why I'm the luckiest person in the world: 

1) I spend nearly all day everyday with my best friends 

It's true that for most of the year my family love 3,000 miles away, and I'm not saying its easy, but they could very well live in Canada or Australia. Separation makes bonds stronger and I have definitely noticed that this year at uni. Judging by the amount I cry at the airport and upon entering the UK, they mean a great deal to me. 

I am so lucky today an I have been so lucky over the past couple of months to have been with them for ages. My mum, dad and brothers are people that I can't live without and I cherish every moment that I can talk to them, laugh with them, and yes, sometimes argue with them. 

2) I have found myself 

After being independent for a while, I realised how crucial it is to find your voice, comply with it and use it at very opportunity. I am so happy to have a voice that I reckon with and my blog has given me that opportunity.

3) I'm currently in Dubai 

I've been in Dubai for a little while now and I am so so lucky to be here. At every holiday opportunity I have been able to come over and I'm very very lucky to have that option open to me. It spices up the holidays, gives me something to look forward to and is an incredibly welcome change. 

Equally I'm am very fortunate to study in the UK and reap the fruits of the brilliant English weather. 

4) I'm surrounded by people who care for my welfare and who enjoy being around me 

A lot of people are very happy (or seem very happy at least) to help me out when I need, provide ears to listen and give a little chat.

5) I don't fear for my life 

It's weird because when I wrote this one, I thought: why would I ever fear for my life. Then I realised that waking up in safety every morning puts me in a minority of people. 

There are people who go to bed fearing for their lives and wake up facing an even harsher reality. People in war-torn countries, people subjected to abuse, people in violent situations, people who are ill.

I am so lucky because I have no idea what it is to feel these things. That doesn't mean that I never will feel pain but in this moment, I'm so thankful. 

6)  I have food and water 

Similarly, it is so incredibly important to realise that things could be so different. I'm so fortunate to have been born into a world where the staples of life are so freely available. 

7) I am un-constrained 

My life really is down to me and I am so lucky that it is this way. Being indecisive, sometimes this means that I make rash or poor decisions but at the end of the day they are my decisions. My life isn't governed by the fact that I have to work to provide for my family. I don't have to join the army straight out of school. I am lucky because the only constraints that I have in life are those that I put on myself. 

8) There is stability and I have the means to provide for it 

Last year I was panicking about payments for our house. I didn't know who I was going to live with, where and how I was going to afford it since I was jobless. I was then so blessed to be able to get a job and pick up a few others too. 

Without my parents lifting me through the  hoops this year in terms of financing accommodation, I am SO aware of how lucky I have been to be able to pay my way through the year. 

9) I'm set up to have one of the best years (yet again) 

And on the subject of uni, this year, though it will be tougher, I hope to be as wonderful as last year. 

If I had told this to myself last September, I would have laughed. But I really really enjoy uni and all the experiences and people that come with it. I am lucky that I love my course and have the motivation to get through it. I am so thankful for the girls that I'm living with this year and for all the other people in between. 

10) I've made it this far 

Understanding Aysha's parents' decision

I have been so fortunate in my life to have never been ill. I have, equally, never really known anyone in my family who has been severely ill or who I have seen through their illness. Therefore, I can't really imagine the emotional toll of illness upon a family, but in the absence of experience, I can only try to imagine. 

Aysha is a 5 year old terminally ill child who was receiving medical treatment at Southampton General Hospital. He was permitted to leave the hospital for short periods of time and is dependent on a battery-operated feeding tube. 

A few days ago, his parents took Aysha from the hospital and left the country. Doctors now assume that the battery upon the feeding tube has run out and that, as a result, Aysha will not survive much longer. 

As of yesterday, a warrant was issued for his parents arrest and there is a European manhunt out to find the family of 9. 

As important and life-changing it is that Aysha is found and put back into the care of medical professionals, you can't help but try to understand why Aysha's parents took him away. 

Life in hospital is far from normal. It must put a huge amount of pressure upon families to find strength, to find hope and to believe that everything is alright. Though I imagine that doctors and nurses do have 'training' in person-ability when it comes to the emotional effects of illness, their primary concern is with curing, prolonging or facilitating life. 

A couple of days ago, the family was found in Spain. And now, something more damaging than a European manhunt takes place. 

It absolutely breaks my heart to see Aysha's parents being pushed in the back of a police van on the way to court. It feels cold. As though no one has any concern for how the parents might be feeling. I understand the importance of upholding the law, but these two people are being made into a media spectacle. 

They are being taken away from their son who is ill and needs their support. It's most likely that the trial will only prolong the amount of time that they are unable to spend with their son and put an even larger toll on their emotional well being. 

I realise, however, that these parents risked their child's life. But it wasn't out of malice or because they were cruel. It was, most probably, because they loved him and wanted things to be normal.